Nadia Petrova has lived inside the walls of the Red Room her entire life. There has been no escaping Dreykov, no escaping the wandering hands or the things she wished she could forget. She crosses paths with the Avengers, and finally learns what freedom feels like - and discovers that her mother hadn't died in a car accident like she'd been told. "You'll find things that make you feel again," her mother told her. "You'll find things that make you realise that freedom is everything." A tall, dark figure catches her attention. She's told to stay away from him... but she can't help it. Can't help but like that he's only nice to her, that she's the only one he trusts. She can't help but fall in love with him. He's not the monster that everyone thinks, but she's the only one that sees it. - a loki au containing self harm, sexual assault, eating disorders, abuse etc -