Finding Truth

How does a girl just be average and blend in? I had that in high school, but not anymore. No matter what I do or where I go something, or should I say someone, is after me. For the right reasons or the wrong ones.
Shit is just thrown my way again and again. What little happiness I have left is buried deep down. If I find it and give it away will my heart shatter all over again?
So much death, pain, and love.. and for what?