This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years.
Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness.
I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it.
Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be.
This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind.
Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos.
Though, there is beauty in the darkness.
Everything can be found in the darkness.
You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it.
A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things.
I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull.
It's all that I want to consume my mind.
There's so much to learn.
The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom.
It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become.
I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for.
Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.
// s o n d e r \\ - "the realisation that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own"
Life can be dark, cold and lonely. Feeling betrayed, misunderstood, chewed up and spat out by the world, its when I get sonder, that I realise I might not be as alone as I thought.
This is my autobiography, in a series of harsh and delicate words, painted as a story. Includes drugs, sex, alcoholism, depression, anxiety, self harm, suicidal tendencies, assault and other hard topics, so read at your own discretion. THIS IS THE TRIGGER WARNING.
I wrote it, with the intention that, if there are people in the world who feel alone and misunderstood just like me, and can benefit in any way by relating to my stories in my poems, then I have done at least one thing right.
Highest rankings:
#1 in poetry 07/05/2021
#1 in poetry 26/11/2021
#1 in slampoetry 07/05/2021
#1 in sonder 08/05/2021
#1 in sonder 06/12/2021
#2 in slampoetry 25/11/2021
#2 in slampoetry 01/12/2021
#2 in slampoetry 06/12/2021
#2 in sonder 27/11/2021
#2 in sonder 01/12/2021
#3 in slampoetry 06/07/2021
#3 in sonder 30/09/2021
#3 in sonder 25/11/2021
#3 in sonder 11/12/2021
#4 in slampoetry 24/11/2021
#4 in slampoetry 03/01/2022
#5 in melancholy
#6 in sadness
#11 in poetry
#11 in alcoholism
#21 in smoking