This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years.
Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness.
I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it.
Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be.
This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind.
Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos.
Though, there is beauty in the darkness.
Everything can be found in the darkness.
You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it.
A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things.
I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull.
It's all that I want to consume my mind.
There's so much to learn.
The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom.
It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become.
I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for.
Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.
August is slipping through our hands like a half-sipped bottle of wine and this year for me has been the most Unhinged, deranged, yet somehow on some level chic and comforting.
I found and discovered things I never thought I would and I lost some things of great meaning which also I never thought I would.
This year sure has been a rollercoaster of a ride, and the most terrifying thing about this is that the year hasn't even finished yet.
I've felt a lot of emotions like madness, happiness, sadness and confusion and homesick-hysterion and a flash mobs of questions posted in my mind like post it notes just screaming.
And so I got tired of them. And I wrote an anthology of the events that happened to me this year and have happened to me in the past.
This is a concept record. Each track is a letter to someone, or some situation where I wanted to say I lot of things... But I couldn't so I decided to let my mind and heart intertwine, and speak those words that I couldn't.
I hold Sensitive Strings close to my heart because it's my first anthology. Although it might not seem like it right now, but in future after release of several other anthologies, I want to look back at this record and just laugh, because it's a depressingly funny record of an 18 year old queer boy, and it's probably things that most people relate to because unlike *coughs* some people, I don't gatekeep my trauma as unique, because it's trauma not a competition.
I hope that you all will love this record as much as I do. And I hope that Sensitive Strings will keave you all to want more. And I promise with me more is always coming.
I just want to say to all those people who supported me in this,
Especially all of my friends, you know who you are. I love you and this wouldn't have been possible without you.
With all your love to me,
And your greatest empathy,
I take this step further without looking back now,
SENSITIVE STRINGS IS OUT NOW.
Love you & Thank you.
Riv.