I won't be impressed by technology until I can download food
- Reads 14,114
- Votes 1,382
- Parts 200
Complete Mon, May 2, 20161h 16m
Hello there fellow humans. Get ready to listen to my story. If you can... Understand my humor... Then... You will love this...
"Batman out"
*Hits a wall*
"To be or not to be"
"Wait, wrong answer"
Highest ranking: 2 in humor. Wait... 2 as in 2! Wow!
This is my life folks. No I'm not kidding. It's all for real! Now I must get back to my Toothless plush named Batman!
All Rights Reserved
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
TRASHY! (Written By Masha)
TRASHY? TRASHY! YOU!! Get ready to TRASH with Laugh Out Loud, a hilarious collection of 10 comedic / horrific tragedy events Urban legends storiesComplete
haven ☞ l.s
"I take it you're not a new student?" "What?" Harry mumbles, caught up in the way his eyes are quite literally sparkling in the light. "Oh-No. Not a student." "Are you a sub?" Louis asks. Harry clenches his hands into fists, holding them behind his back as he stumbles a bit. "I don't, uh-I mean. I've never really gotten a chance to be a true sub, you know? My ex-partners were always scared they'd hurt me. But, like-If I trusted someone a lot, and if we used a, a safeword. And talked about, you know, boundaries, then-Yes, yeah, I-I'm a sub." Louis' eyes are so wide, his cheeks puffing out in the effort to not burst into laughter. "Oh shit, oh my god," Harry whispers. "You meant-Oh god."Complete
Partners in crime (AlastorxReader Oc) +18
You're in a jail cell when Alastor, a reporter and radio host, comes to conduct an interview. Being a notorious killer entices him, and he finds himself freeing you from your cell. What happens next is anyone's guess. WARNING 18 only! NO MINORS (I'm not responsible for what you read, it's in the title and the description) 💗Heavy Smut 💗Both of you are in the spectrum of Asexuality and demisexuality 💗Slight negative comments on sexuality 💗Consentual choking 💗Cannibalism (mostly jokes between the both of you) 💗Vigilante discussion against criminals 💗Alastor has a mommy kink Oh, and if you know my writing, you know I make the reader spicy, no dull bishes in here!Complete
Kinks & kisses | ✓
"𝙰𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚆𝚎𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚍𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚢, 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎?" 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴 "𝚂𝚝𝚛𝚙 & 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚎! 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚠𝚎𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚍𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚢" 𝘏𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴. 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮. 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴𝘦𝘵 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘴𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘺... 𝘏𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘮𝘱𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘦. 𝘈𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘥, 𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥 & 𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘤. 𝙰𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛'𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑, 𝙼𝚢 𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚕 𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚎. 𝙱𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚡𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎'𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚍𝚒𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎. 𝙸 𝚖𝚎𝚝 𝙷𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛'𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚗 Leo , 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚛𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛... 𝙸 𝚏𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚒𝚗 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎... 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 & 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝙸 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚎𝚡𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘us man like him! D I S C L A I MComplete
Le Gasp The Club
If you say le gasp you are welcome here. You will not be criticized or punished for your choice of language here. Le gasp is accepted among us members of society. If you say Le gasp as well, I welcome you with open arms to join us. You are home now my children. Let us embrace. {Basically me venting bout life and my chisme} (This is really for fun, if you want to have some too then please join the family!) [slow, unsteady updates] #9: random thoughts #38: tagging #34: community #2: legaspComplete
Kidnapped by Vampires 🎈
"W-who are you? W-why am I here?" I struggled against the ropes for dramatic effect. He leaned in towards me, now our faces several inches apart. Too close for my comfort actually, does this dude ever heard of personal space? "I am Finn Von Dracula, the vampire, and I just kidnapped you." He flashed me his white, shiny fangs to prove his claim. "Lol." Vampires are immortal creatures, once a human who got turned when a vampire bit them. When they live on Earth for too long, they tend to get bored. And look for something to keep them entertained: a pet. There are two types of people in the world: The sane and the crazy. Gwen Masters is definitely the crazy type. Loud, crazy and weird. What happens when she got kidnapped by two vampires? Crazy + Stick in the ass vampires + Vampire puns With such a weird combination, how will it turn out? Read to find out :) Warning *this book isnt about those domineering vampires/submissive human pets* *the grammar is probably so terrible grammar nazis will have nightmares for years* *full of crap jokes*Complete
Mate. | Derek Hale
"Derek..." I laughed not hesitating to run up to him, I launched myself into his arms, and we stood there holding each other, my feet barely touching the ground. His face nuzzled into my neck taking in my scent and I was pressed into his shoulder so tight I couldn't smell anything but him, we were so focused on one another that we didn't care what was happening around us and when we did pull back, I grabbed his face looking at the new parts I didn't recognize and the old ones that always stayed the same. {WARNING THIS STORY MAY CONTAIN GRAPHIC/MATURE CONTENT, IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO ANYTHING SKIP THE CHAPTERS WITH WARNINGS, MAY CONTAIN - SEX - ABUSE - ASSASSINATION - TORTURE - TRAUMA - MURDER - SEXUAL CONTENT - AND OTHER MATURE CONTENT OF SORTS.} Created: June 2018 Edited: January 2024Complete
F*** Cancer, This One Did Us All In.
There's not a lot that can freak me out in this world. Only large animals with sharp claws, too many people touching me, bullies, hives, horror movies, sitting underneath fans or lights or anything that dangles from a ceiling, glass or wooden bridges, my mother, mosquitoes, public situations, taking a shower with nobody in the house, taking a shower with too many people in the house and crocks. Oh, and zombies. Zombies is definitely on that list. It's almost a shame too, that I have to race through a city packed full of them to find my missing family. Packed full of zombies, by the way, not crocks. (Although I don't know which situation is worse.) Now I have to not only keep my feeble body alive, but also protect (or be protected by) my two best friends in the entire world as we all try to survive in a city packed with the Dead.Complete
TRASHY? TRASHY! YOU!! Get ready to TRASH with Laugh Out Loud, a hilarious collection of 10 comedic / horrific tragedy events Urban legends stories
More detailsContent Guidelines