"I cant do this any more," I looked down at our intertwined hands and then back at her, "not to you, not to my sister, not to myself" Her tear filled eyes threatened mine to do the same. "I'm so sorry" Planting one more kiss on her soft, innocent cheek i turned to walk away. "KiIlian please," she begged of me and grabbed my arm, "we can fix this, I- I can-" her voice sounded strained and helpless. I shook my arm out of her hand and again started to walk away. "KILLIAN," I turned to her from 10 yards away, tears rolling down my cheeks. "please don't leave me" her voice sounded strained form the crying. "I love you, always will" and with that I turned and started to run. Leaving Carter, my beautiful love, crying by the deep blue river water, all because of me.
Elliot's partner was his whole world, but after Allan's death, his ghost haunts Elliot's dreams. Everyone tells Elliot to move on, but he isn't sure he can.
*****
It's been a year since the love of Elliot's life, Allan, passed away. Everyone thinks he should have recovered after that much time, but Allan still haunts Elliot every night. He struggles to maintain relationships with his family, and despite a coworkers interest he can't summon up the courage to date. Elliot is living for the past, because to live for the present means he'll have to live with a hole in his heart. But the question Elliot has to face chases him through his monotonous days: is mourning Allan with everything he has truly living?
[[word count: 40,000-50,000 words]]