Just A Little Bit
- Lectures 3,037
- Votes 114
- Chapitres 18
A question I still don't know how to answer, not because I don't want people to know I'm still broken, but because I don't have enough words to explain how have I been.
I'm in the middle of pain and healing, where I still feel every single heartache I've had for the past months but I also know I'm slowly accepting why everything happened the way it was. I'm in that moment where I don't know if forgetting is the best choice but I also know I will not be able to erase all these memories so I started to look for a way on how to move forward with all these painful memories. I'm not sure if who I was before all of these happened was better or the version of me moving forward but I'm certain that I don't want to be stuck where I am right now- in the limbo of sadness.
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#20
romanempire
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When you need me most, that's when I walk away. I've spent years with him-giving, pretending, sacrificing-but I've never really felt the way I thought I would. And still, I've never fully walked away. Each day feels heavier than the last, a quiet ache gnawing at me, reminding me that the person I'm losing isn't him... it's myself. People see us together and think it's enough. They see the smiles, the routines, the quiet mornings, the coffee he always makes, and they assume our love is perfect. They do not know the nights I lie awake, questioning if staying is worth the cost, or if leaving will destroy everything I've built inside myself. They do not know the small, invisible ways I've been disappearing-slowly, quietly, while he keeps holding on, unaware of how fragile I feel. It isn't that I don't care for him. He's kind, patient, and loving in ways that make me ache. But sometimes love isn't enough when it takes more than you can give-and when the person you're with doesn't meet you where you need them most. Between guilt, obligation, and the pull of familiarity, I've lost sight of myself, and I can't tell if I'm holding on to him... or just holding myself back. And now, when life throws new challenges his way, I have to face a question I've avoided for far too long: do I continue to sacrifice myself for a love that demands everything and gives only uncertainty? Or do I finally choose me-even if it means letting go?
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