Paint Us Gray: Part 2

Paint Us Gray: Part 2

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WpMetadataReadMatureComplete Sat, Jan 15, 202223m
(This is part 2; please read part 1 first!) Rejection. Betrayal. Heartbreak. Grief. Unfortunately, we've all had a swallow, some more than others, of this bitter brew. This is just a sliver of my chapter that is a part of this world's grand narrative; it's about one person's toe dipping into the brokenness of the Earth, and the ripples, waves, tsunamis it created in her life. A couple of months ago, while consoling a friend grieving the loss of a relationship, he asked me a question no one had ever asked me before. A very vulnerable and powerful question. I had been sharing some of my own similar experiences with him when he messaged me that life changing question, "And, what did you see at the top of the mountain?" While his words were just letters on a screen, I could see the hunger in his eyes, hear the desperation in his voice, sense the overwhelming thirst of a person climbing up an incredibly steep and treacherous mountain. What did I see at the top of the mountain? This book is my answer to this question. Let's go for a hike.
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Release

This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness. I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it. Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be. This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind. Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos. Though, there is beauty in the darkness. Everything can be found in the darkness. You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it. A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things. I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull. It's all that I want to consume my mind. There's so much to learn. The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom. It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become. I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for. Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.

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