"I never was afraid of dying. It's painless, you have a feeling like you're floating, lost.. And no one actually knows what happens after. They say that we either go to Heaven or Hell, but what if it doesn't exist? Will it really matter, all of our deeds, in the end? No. It wouldn't matter. No one judges you when you die, the only one who can judge you is yourself.
I'm looking forward to it. To that sweet feeling of numbness, when I finally let go of all the strings that held me back. And as my sight slowly fades away and my heartbeats slows down, my mind will start screaming, gasping for air. Because I did the one thing I promised myself I will never do. One thing that makes all of it matter, that makes you weight your options and regret every bad thing you did. I fell in love. "
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Sin James is a 17 year old boy, diagnosed with cancer. He's been living with it for months, since the doctors said that in this state, it wouldn't effect his studies and life. Until one day, he was sent to the hospital, as it developed, spreading through his body. He knew he didn't have much time left, and all he wanted was to get it over with. But a single soul he will meet in hospital halls will change his opinion. Was death what he really wanted? Will it all go as he planned? Is it possible that this young, sick boy could make him want to fight, for himself, for them both?
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The story was inspired by a Roleplay between my very best friend and I, and yes, it is boyxboy, yaoi, or however you want to call it. If you don't like it, don't read it. It was a real journey to roleplay and develop the story, and I hope it will touch your heart and sink under your skin, just like it did to us.
"Leo pinned me against the wall with his hips; his hands gently gripping my wrists, keeping my arms above my head against the cool brick behind me.
His beautiful, hazy blue eyes -that had turned straight quicksilver, again- were filled with such an intense, carnal desire I couldn't even look into them, so I looked over his shoulder.
I saw a small group of kids from the group standing out by their cars who would easily be able to see what we were doing...or at least what Leo was doing to me.
At that moment, my mind started wandering to all the things that I could be doing to him right now...but I stopped that train of thought, immediately, as it started heading to all the wrong places... All the dirty places... All of those places involving a very hard part of my body...
I glanced back at Leo; his gaze was still as intense as it was before (unfortunately).
He smirked at me and said confidently, "You can't ignore me forever, Ethan. You're eventually gonna fall for my charms..."
Ethan Carter was focused on 2 things.
1. School (obviously) and 2. Getting over ex (it's proving to be, harder than he thought), but now he has to add dying to that list, and suddenly having feelings for a boy (which has happened once before, but Ethan tries to forget it).
Leo Malone makes Ethan feel things he's never felt for another guy. Leo's sweet, patient, and understanding, the only problem is, he's a guy.
Ethan tries to ignore the fact that his heart flutters every time he sees Leo, or that he can't ever stop thinking about him; but if having cancer has taught him one thing, it's that, "You have to live in the present, as you may not have a future."