Math: The Watermelon Chronicals
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- Votes 0
- Parts 2
MatureOngoing<5 mins
Last published Sun, Jan 16, 2022
TW: Gun violence, swearing, talks of death and murder
Why was 6 really afraid of 7? Why did Johnny buy 44 watermelons and who took 22 away? In a gripping mafia tale filled with action, drama, and betrayal, delve deep into the mysteries Math teachers banned from the history books.
Temporary cover not owned by me.
This is a crack fic made up on a discord general chat. Anything in this story is merely satire and should be taken with as much seriousness as you would talking to a child with a booger in their nose. All characters, actions, and events are entirely fiction. I am not responsible for any offense you may have taken reading this story. You have been warned.
Creative Commons (CC) Attribution
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Yes, I am crazy
I don't know when it happened, or how, but I know I'm crazy. Nothing more, nothing less. Or well, maybe add weird too. Most people tend to stay away from me and it's no mystery why. But then those five hot guys just had to come and kidnap me. Like, why? Because apparently my dad is the leader of an infamous gang and these teenagers want to take him down. Pfft, still doesn't count. Now, I'm just worrying about whether or not I want to get released - an excuse for skipping school? Hell yeah! Though there is that tiny, little issue regarding the question about if they are going to kill me or not. Might as well have a bit of fun before that happens. ~~~ Okay, so this is like my first book, and... It's... I don't know what it is. I read some stories were a crazy girl get's kidnapped, and decided to write a story like that too. So, here we are! What's my point? I think I had one... 1# crazy (How? What? I'm confused)Complete![[DISCONTINUED] 𝐈𝐌𝐏✤𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑! | Dream x Reader x Nightmare](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/242963385-256-k622094.jpg)
[DISCONTINUED] 𝐈𝐌𝐏✤𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑! | Dream x Reader x Nightmare
EDIT JULY 2024 Never read this like ever. It's so cringe and so vile, I'm below it. Please read my other works on AO3 under the same handle (purplepercie) because Imposter! literally sucks. Focus on something better with your time 😭 EDIT MARCH 2023 FOR INFO AS TO WHY THIS WAS DISCONTINUED, REFER TO THE LAST CHAPTER OF THIS FIC AND READ THE FIRST SEVEN PARAGRAPHS (this includes the little one sentence breaks)! You can read the others but it's since become sort of outdated info so I don't recommend. Shrug. OG DESCRIPTION: 𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 , 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 ━━━ 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐬 : 𝐲𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐚𝐫 ━━━ 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 ! ━━━ 𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞: 𝐩𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝: 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞𝐝: ✦ 𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 : 𝟐𝟐,𝟎𝟎𝟎+ ❥ 𝐏𝐔𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐎𝐂𝐓. 𝟑𝐑𝐃 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎 (𝘾𝘾 ) 𝘼𝙏𝙏𝙍𝙄𝘽. 𝙉𝙊𝙉𝘾𝙊𝙈𝙈. 𝙎𝙃𝘼𝙍𝙀𝘼𝙇𝙄𝙆𝙀Complete
TMNT Cuz' It's 2:49 In The Morning (But Written At 7:47 In The Morning)
◃──|Bᴀʏᴠᴇʀsᴇ!Tᴍɴᴛ X Fᴇᴍ!Rᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ|──▹ (The re-written, 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘺 less cringe version) ✧. ┊𝑫𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒔 𝒂𝒏 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝑹𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒐 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒛𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝐆𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐲｡˚ ✧ ☆。*。☆。。* 。☆ 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 wanting to feel heroism, live out the epic and be 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐲 but, failing harder than 2012 April in Trig. °°° "𝘕𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘨𝘶𝘺𝘴 𝙖𝙡𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮 𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘴𝘵! 𝘐𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘨𝘶𝘺𝘴 𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘴𝘵, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘥𝘰, 𝘵𝘰𝘰! 𝘕𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘢 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘭𝘦." °°° A subway under attack- that's bad. But fear not! Rescue came─ 𝘈𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘴?... Hahahaha (Odysseus's laugh) °°° "𝘙𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩." "𝙄'𝙡𝙡 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝘨𝘶𝘺𝘴, 𝘚𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘭𝘰𝘵𝘩." °°° Soon, she gets yeeted off into the unknown by C̶h̶e̶d̶d̶a̶r Shredder. Yay! ×ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ× •ᴄʀɪɴɢᴇ• •ᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴇʟᴍᴏ• •ᴀ ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇʀɴɪɴɢ ᴀᴍᴏᴜɴᴛ ᴏғ ʀᴇғᴇʀᴇɴᴄᴇs, ᴇsᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟʟʏ ᴍᴀʀᴠᴇʟ ᴏɴᴇs•
𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐂𝐊 | 𝚂𝚑𝚒𝚝𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙶𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚎!
"𝕀𝕥'𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕦𝕟𝕟𝕪! 𝕀𝕋'𝕊 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝔽𝕌ℕℕ𝕐!" -𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕚𝕟ℂ𝕚𝕥𝕠ℙ𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕤 Imagine, if you will, your favourite anime characters and MCs in these unrealistic and fake scenarios, in the hopes of getting rid of all that nasty PTSD and trauma! This tome seeks to do just that and is an escape for both of us from our daily responsibilities, and allows everyone to have a quick laugh in this bleak and terrible world! So, stick around and have some fun as we bully my very fictional MCs to a very real Hell! (I was bored and wanted to create a crackfic, so here we are.)Complete
Hunted||MCYT Fantasy AU||Platonic Ships
I am only writing this for fun. Mostly platonic shipping. Keep in mind the people that are shipped in this fanfic are ok with shipping. If any ships in this fanfic make a mcyt uncomfortable I will take it down immediately. (Also, if you really hate shipping real people that much, then just don't read it, simple) Mostly just drama and storyline instead of shipping. Criticism is welcomed. Tell me any mistakes I made. The art in this fanfic aren't mine, they belong to their rightful owners. Non-humans are being hunted all across the kingdom. Non-humans include hybrids and people with powers. Everyone calls them monsters and want them gone, and so hunters exist. Humans are afraid of non-humans for their powers. Ships included in the series (All platonic): Skephalo Dreamnap (I used to ship Dreamnotfound but nahhh it's way too overrated) No shipping minors. The minors all have platonic but really close relationships full of fluff. 🥺 Techno shall be asexual in this fanfic just because. There will be Technoblade superiority. I also believe in Puffy and BBH superiority. 😌 TW//Not very graphic described blood + violence, yelling, sharp breaths CW//Angst, mild cussing, weaponsComplete
Ddangg
DISCLAIMER: All characters in this story are only based on personalities of real people but not confined to them. This aint real, don't make it real. With regards, tigertail Description: An alternate universe where instead of 6 friends, there are 3 rival gangs. All wanting more than what's given. "You know why I always fold my gum wrappers into squares?" "Do I want to know?" Emily answered rhetorically. "It's because I'm always ready to square up," Maya continued with a gleefully satisfied smile. In the darkness, where only a single light hung from the ceiling over a shabby-looking wooden chair, was an exasperated sigh. The nearly visible form spoke with little more than a whisper. "...Oh. My. Maas."Complete
TommyInnit's unbeatable method of avoiding sudden death
"I uh," Tommy starts, not knowing how to break this to the hero lightly. He hates to be the bearer of bad news. "I think your powers are broken? It's not a bad thing of course, but like, I swear you tried to mind control me and it like, totally failed. Which is fine, honestly, don't feel insecure. Everyone's power stop working sometimes... I think." Sheesh, this is very awkward. Why is no one else talking? Why is Philza looking at him like he grew three heads? Why is the Blade staring at him so intensely? Why is Willow still frozen? "Did I, did I hit a nerve? Yikes," Tommy hisses, "Well um," He steps back, bracing his legs and bending his knees, "This was like super fun, but I'm - I'mma head out." or, in which Tommy manages to annoy the hell out of Phil, Techno and Wilbur by being both impossible to catch and irritatingly endearing. or or, a crack fic where Tommy is a vigilante and Phil, Techno and Wilbur are the heroes hunting him down.Complete
CRUMPET RESISTANCE
Do you enjoy lighthearted jokes, crack, and mushrooms? This book is for you! Do you enjoy angst? This book is for you! Do you enjoy death and betrayal? This book is for you! Do you enjoy food turned into people and leading a whole society? This book is also for you! Ever wanted to kill your best friend 0_0? THIS BOOK IS FOR YOUUU Are you thinking about rebelling against someone? (hopefully not) Again, THIS 👏 BOOK 👏 IS 👏 FOR 👏 YOU! I mean, if you don't enjoy any of that, THIS BOOK IS STILL FOR YOU!!! Four friends (plus one absent friend), have come together to write the ULTIMATE STORY OF THE DECADE THAT WILL WIN THE GRAMMY AWARDS!!!! Every chapter is divided into four bits, each summarized by one of the main characters in their own style. So, be prepared for confusion and style changes in writing! Audericka, Casserole, Chlorine, Finn and Sage live in a society ruled by non-other than Crumpet and his wife Saucy Waffles. They live in Sauffletown, where commoners weren't treated the best. So, it was decided. They would overthrow the king and queen. The Crumpet Rebellion (or the Muffin Corp) was born, led by the famous Muffin Boss! Join the five best friends in the journey of a lifetime against their own kingdom.Complete
I don't know when it happened, or how, but I know I'm crazy. Nothing more, nothing less. Or well, maybe add weird too. Most people tend to stay away from me and it's no mystery why. But then those five hot guys just had to come and kidnap me. Like, why? Because apparently my dad is the leader of an infamous gang and these teenagers want to take him down. Pfft, still doesn't count. Now, I'm just worrying about whether or not I want to get released - an excuse for skipping school? Hell yeah! Though there is that tiny, little issue regarding the question about if they are going to kill me or not. Might as well have a bit of fun before that happens. ~~~ Okay, so this is like my first book, and... It's... I don't know what it is. I read some stories were a crazy girl get's kidnapped, and decided to write a story like that too. So, here we are! What's my point? I think I had one... 1# crazy (How? What? I'm confused)
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