Axhaleia's Mayhem
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Publikasi terakhir Sab, Jan 22, 2022
They say, you were born because you have a purpose, worth living. I believed it. Everything they say regarding a human's purpose of being born in this world. I wanted to find mine and live its worth. I thought...... Rather, I wished....... I was born to become an accountant, that was what I told myself. I pursued it. I was born to be an achiever and that was what I'd become. I was born to love someone so much and I did. I was born to free my family from burden. I was born to have a happy family of my own. I believed that my life will turn out okay as it goes on but, Who am I fooling? The world wouldn't let you live your life easy. Or rather the people make life hard, not the world. It will throw you stones, even large rocks to make you bend and give up. If you're strong, then it will throw you asteroids until all the things you've believed in crumble into pieces and, You yourself, will decide to crash your own life. But I am strong. The world did its best to make me give up. It gave me thousands of reasons to stay on the ground but, I always find even just one single reason to stand and fight again. But what if I grew tired? The world is wise enough to offer me rest and serenity and that will be ... Death. But of course, I needed to fight. I am not myself if I would resort to that permanent thing. Ako si Selena Axhaleia Ptelemi San Meda. A victim of child abuse. Thirsty of parents' love. Cheated by my first love. Lost a child Abandoned. Hindi ako susuko kay kamatayan. O hindi nga ba?
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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ✓
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I'm trying to keep my eyes open while hearing the noises of doctors and the beeps of machines. It's feeling like something is going away from me. I'm trying my best to keep my conscious. But second by second my strength is draining and pain is increasing into my head and whole body. But right now , I don't give damn to my own self. Anything could happen to me. I don't care. But nothing should happen to my child ... he should survive and live his life unlike his mother "who never got anything in her life. First I couldn't get the love from my parents "which i deserved.." then i got the husband "who don't give shit to my existence. My whole life went trying to get the piece of love "which I at least deserved once in my life . But no one dared to give to me and now god is snatching my last happiness as well. Which is my child. When I'd got to know about him. A ray of hope I'd felt in my life. I thought at least now I'll able to get someone whom I could call mine. But seems like god couldn't see me stay happy and now I'm laying on death bed holding my womb pleading to god that he should keep my baby safe. But I guess he can't see me happy and soon I heard doctor's faint voice " who announced baby is no more. We lost the baby. He whispered looking at other doctors being dejected. Tears made their ways from my twitching eyes..' and I felt like to scream and cry bitterly. All the emotions are gushing towards my brain and heart. but being numb on the bed made me so helpless that I can't even cry. After battling I couldn't hold my sanity and fell unconscious.
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