lost

I closed my eyes praying he wouldn't see me. He was behind me holding me as close as possible. I was uncontrollably shaking and on the verge of tears. I can't believe this, why me, what did I ever do, why do I have to go through this? why. I don't understand. I feel so confused, angry, sad, happy? most of all....lost. I buried my face into his neck. He kissed my head, I won't let anything happy to you sweetie I promise.