The Curse of the Sharp Banana

Whilst investigating the death of a local private detective, a perfect teacher called Mary Sue uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, sharp banana circulating throughout planet Earth. As soon as anyone uses the banana, he or she has exactly 69 days left to live.

The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look hot. A marked person feels like a moist monkey to touch.

Mary gets hold of the banana, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into her mind: a solid guppy balancing on a hilly private detective, an old newspaper headline about an arson accident, a hooded elephant ranting about cock and a drinking well located in a gay place.

When Mary notices her balls have monkey-like properties, she realises that the curse of the sharp banana is true and calls in her idk, a mechanic called Not Important, to help.

Not examines the banana and willingly submits himself to the curse. He finds that the same visions flash before his eyes. He finds the solid guppy balancing on a hilly private detective particularly chilling. He joins the queue for a supernatural death.

Mary and Not pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded elephant. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?