WaterLily

"Why do you wanna leave for college anyway?!"

I pretend as if I were deaf or I was separated from the world by a giant soundproofed glass wall. I turned around to see her staring at me as if she is looking for answers, that's written in my face or maybe hidden inside my mouth. I drop the act, exhale aloud and relax my shoulders, putting away the sorted clothes. I am looking for the same answers.

"BEcause..." I really don't know, except that i expect things to change magically when i leave this wrecked place. I finish the sentence after a brief pause, "...College is far away from home".

Row comes and hugs me from the side, immediately, and says nothing. I hold her arm and grip it around me tighter. As I rest my chin on her arm i feel a tiny droplet of water falling down from above, it hit her arm and rolled down. I never knew I would cry. I snuggle in for the hug and sniff, but pulled away to get my jacket, trying to hide myself.

It was a dead silent car ride. It was never silence with Row around. It can be calm and absence of speech, or loud music and ugly singing, or sounds of giggling and laughing. It was not the comfortable silence i was accustomed to.

When i pulled in, i realize what i am putting myself into, questioning my wrecked decision. I see people my age everywhere, with books, hopes, dreams, dark circles, passion, exhaustion, love and other things. Only I know I don't belong there.