The Letters I Write to God
- Reads 9
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- Parts 4
MatureOngoing18m
Last published Fri, Feb 4, 2022
"To be borderline means to lack grounding emotionally and to exist from moment to moment without any sense of continuity, predictability, or meaning. Life is experienced in fragments, more like a series of snapshots than a moving picture. It is a series of discrete points of experience that fail to flow together smoothly or to create an integrated whole." (Moskoviz, 1996)
My journey through my 4 month stay at a psychiatric hospital. The highs, the lows, the happiness, the heartbreak- it's all here.
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B. P. Diaries Volume 1: Innocence Lost [Completed]
Content Warning: "B.P. Diaries: Innocence Lost" contains themes and depictions related to a child's experiences, family dynamics, and growing up. It touches on sensitive topics, including parental issues, emotional struggles, and moments of self-discovery. As the series progresses, it will delve deeper into themes of mental health, including Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), which may involve discussions of self-harm, emotional distress, and other challenging subjects. We understand that these topics can be distressing for some readers. Please exercise caution and consider your emotional well-being while reading. If you find yourself affected by these themes, reach out to appropriate support networks or professionals who can provide assistance. Remember, your well-being is important, and there is help available for those who need it. This series aims to raise awareness and foster understanding of these issues, but your mental and emotional health should always come first. ---------------------- This is a Diary-style fiction. Think of it as reading someone's diary!Complete
Fix Me, I'm Broken
Walking into an empty house is normal to me. I guess I got tired of saying 'I'm home' when nobody is home to reply. It wasn't always like this. I remember when our family was close. Now we don't see each other any more. We don't talk to each other. We don't eat with each other. We don't ACKNOWLEDGE each other. This all happened after my 'Mother' killed herself. My father blames me. This is my story about how I learned to not count on anyone else but myself. I'm broken. I'm used. No one can fix me. But when the New Boy in town tries to fix me, everything will change. Good change or Bad change, I don't know. Only time will tell. I want to enter this story in the #Wattys2015 please help me out and vote and comment on my story. I'll really appreciate it!!! #Wattys2015 COPYRIGHTED © 2014 BY Anallely ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ®Complete
Tethered By Lust
It's not worth it anymore. The fighting, the hurt, the beatings. It was never going to be worth it. But for love...well love makes you stupid. And I loved him with all my heart. I met the real man who would save me. Like how Bell was saved from Gaston. Except she lived the high life and didn't fear for her existence after her first encounter. After my first encounter with Axel, and a dreamy one-night stand. The only option for me was to stay away from him and keep to Marcus. But Marcus is destroying me. *** "Don't you dare tell me how easy it is to leave and abusive relationship when you've never been in one, Axel!" Tears poured down my cheeks and all I wanted to do in that moment was crawl into the same hole I should never have crawled out from and die. "And I was heartbroken, and scared and anxious. I was worried and I felt weak, and I had no idea how I was ever going to come up with the strength. But I just closed my eyes and took a blind leap. I found you, Cordilia and I'll be dammed if I let that asshole take you away from me."Complete
Her Breaking Point
He had rules for a reason, or thats what he said. I did something wrong I got punished. I spoke out of turn, I got punished. I looked at him or ate without permission, I got punished. Haven thats what they named me funny isn't it? Ironic really. They named me Haven because my mom would say I was her 'Safe Haven'. What a pile of shit that was. She left willingly, she didn't depart because of some tragic accident. My father didn't kill her. She left because she was a coward who didn't want kids. As soon as my older brother went to college she left. I knew she hated me. I was the product of her love with another man. A constant reminder that her life didn't work out the way it was planned. He who ever he was is a phantom in its own. A deep rooted fantasy never going to come true. My brother left, my mother left, my grandma ignored, and my father broke. They let me give up hope on escaping and then decided to play hero. But I haven't forgotten everything I went through. Guilt consumes my brother but I don't care, you don't get to leave and then buy a reprieve of trying to save someone who has been dead for years. Besides lets just be honest I reached my breaking point long ago.Complete
Elizabeth
Some things are never meant to happen the way that they happen. Some things are not supposed to break the way they break, but we are not in charge of this earth. We cannot oversee how things are fixed and how they break. We are only capable of putting the pieces back together...mending broken hearts and healing empty souls. Why him? They ask her constantly. Why the heartless man to comfort the hurting soul? Because, she always responds, even after countless mood swings, crazy demands, constant reassurance, and stupid arguments, he never gave up on her. Why her? They would ask her every time. He'd respond the same. Because I don't want to court her in bed. I want to love her in life. Polar opposites attract. Elizabeth and Romeo attract. They just want to love each other in life through the pain, the agony, the abuse, the depression, the anxiety, the mafia, the breaking, the fixing, the helping, the hurting. It's just love at the end of the day.Complete
DeSade Drinking Games
Poems about maybe being asexual or possibly a lesbian and how being female is kind of a bunk deal both biologically and socially and having so much CPTSD that it festers into a cluster B thing
Tumor Love
Sometimes life don't go the way we planned. Sometimes we end up feeling so low, and alone. Like we're in a dark hole with no one around us, but then suddenly there's a light at the end of the tunnel. And I guess what I'm trying to say is.. You're my light, the one who helped me through the worst time in my life - And for that, I am thankful. I'm thankful that I met you, but I also hate you. I hate what you did to me, because you made me fall in love.. And then my world fell apart once again. [WARNING!! Contains mature themes, and languageComplete
I'm still here
This is where my heart lives. This is what consumes the inside of my skull and bones. My life, my thoughts. Instead of stuffing it in the only crevices that give me light, I will just toss it here. On the ground. Where I'm standing. Because I'm still here. And I hope to stay. ~journal entries from June & July of 2018~Complete
Content Warning: "B.P. Diaries: Innocence Lost" contains themes and depictions related to a child's experiences, family dynamics, and growing up. It touches on sensitive topics, including parental issues, emotional struggles, and moments of self-discovery. As the series progresses, it will delve deeper into themes of mental health, including Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), which may involve discussions of self-harm, emotional distress, and other challenging subjects. We understand that these topics can be distressing for some readers. Please exercise caution and consider your emotional well-being while reading. If you find yourself affected by these themes, reach out to appropriate support networks or professionals who can provide assistance. Remember, your well-being is important, and there is help available for those who need it. This series aims to raise awareness and foster understanding of these issues, but your mental and emotional health should always come first. ---------------------- This is a Diary-style fiction. Think of it as reading someone's diary!
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