I feel ashamed of myself // xingyun angst

It bubbles up, then enhances downward, he uses the straw to swiftly swirl it into a trance. He, he was on the verge of tears, to cry out emotions is such a free feeling, but yet when you forcefully keep them within your stomach.., an intense burden is always grasped onto your head, making it spin forcefully. Xingqiu, he was slightly shaking, he wasn't crying. He wanted too, but he didn't. He chose not to, he didn't like worrying his dear friend.
"Xingqiu?"
"Yes, my dear chongyun?"
"Your shaking."
"Oh, am I now? I must've not noticed..such a pity..."