starry fantasia

Only in her mind did Astra ever feel she was truly loveable. When she fantasized about acquaintances, or strangers, or crushes she pretended not to care about-- those were the moments she felt that warmth. Someone to hold her, to never grow tired of her despite how boring she always felt. She didn't need to act on her feelings. She was content with lying awake at night and imagining. One day, she always thought, if there was ever someone she truly felt for, loved, even, maybe then she would act.
But that hadn't happened,
And would it ever?