Nothing to You (a switz fanfic)
  • Reads 326
  • Votes 27
  • Parts 10
  • Time 1h 15m
  • Reads 326
  • Votes 27
  • Parts 10
  • Time 1h 15m
Ongoing, First published Feb 25, 2022
He washed his face again in the sink, praying that it was a dream. That he hadn't actually made the mistake he knew he had. Staring at his palms he felt the tears pricking at his eyes, threatening to spill over as they often did lately. He slapped each side of his face lightly, 'i can't be doing this...' Finally and with much hesitation he met his own eyes in the mirror. 'you don't love him, he doesn't want you. Your nothing to him,' a mantra he'd repeated everytime he saw the shorter, and often in the lonely moments afterward. But no matter how many times he said, it didn't seem to sink in. Some stupid sliver of hope that he found each time his hand brushed the others, or when their eyes met followed with an understanding smile. He slapped himself again. Harder. Becoming unbelievably annoyed with the constant stream of painful thoughts in his head. 'you don't love him. he doesn't want you. you're nothing to him..'
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****Copyrighted**** 'Tell me you don't feel it.' He whispered against my lips, and the trembling that had ceased at the feel of his lips against mine began again with renewed vigor. 'Tell me it's not what you want, and I'll go. You'll never have to see me again.' Swallowing, I looked up at the eyes that had entranced me from the start. I took in his every feature, slowly and deliberately. I thrilled at the feeling of his arms enfolding me, and I inhaled his familiar scent with a trembling breath. And then, then I did the most foolish thing imaginable: I flung my arms about his neck and kissed him with all that I had, almost losing myself in the safety and security I felt. But more than that, I ran. I took his moment of shock, the slight loosing of his arms about me, and tore myself away from him, shoving out the door and into the rain. I suppose I'll never know why he didn't follow me. It was the thing I feared most. I knew that if he came for me a second time, I wouldn't be able to say 'no'. I wouldn't be able to run. But I had to. I had to go. I couldn't let him be hurt because of me. He would live on now, and I would marry another. I had leased my last bit of passion in that one moment in his arms, and as I made my way through the dark streets, I felt myself become dull and lost like the creatures bound in the menagerie. **Much of this was written when I was younger and then I came back later and finished it. There will likely be mistakes. Lots of them.