Nothing to You (a switz fanfic)

He washed his face again in the sink, praying that it was a dream. That he hadn't actually made the mistake he knew he had. Staring at his palms he felt the tears pricking at his eyes, threatening to spill over as they often did lately. He slapped each side of his face lightly, 'i can't be doing this...' Finally and with much hesitation he met his own eyes in the mirror. 'you don't love him, he doesn't want you. Your nothing to him,' a mantra he'd repeated everytime he saw the shorter, and often in the lonely moments afterward. But no matter how many times he said, it didn't seem to sink in. Some stupid sliver of hope that he found each time his hand brushed the others, or when their eyes met followed with an understanding smile. He slapped himself again. Harder. Becoming unbelievably annoyed with the constant stream of painful thoughts in his head. 'you don't love him. he doesn't want you. you're nothing to him..'