If Only You Knew - EllieAstari - Wattpad

If Only You Knew

LECTURES 836
Votes 41
Parties 20
Durée 3h 44m

LECTURES 836
Votes 41
Parties 20
Durée 3h 44m

'You're always taught not to be afraid to speak up if something is wrong. That they will believe you.

What a joke.

I wish I'd know by doing so, By telling them all what was wrong, I was unintentionally bringing nothing but judgment, isolation and heart ache.

I wish I'd never spoken up,

i wish I'd just keep it to myself,

Everything was better before they knew..."

- Azalea Anderson



The literal meaning of the floral name Azalea is withered flower. Contradictory to that, its habitat of growth being dry conditions sends the message of being robust and strong willed. 

In floriography Azaleas symbolise and fragility as a result of being notoriously fragile and difficult to grow.

She wasn't fragile like a flower though, She was fragile like a bomb. Just waiting to self destruct at a moments notice.

Azalea Anderson a deaf, seventeen year old girl struggling 
living in a world where words CAN hurt you. Having experienced first hand being chronically Ill that human beings are the cause of more pain that any illness or injury could ever inflict. Knowing that memories etch their way into your mind and skin. Like a permanent reminder of your undoings. 

What happens when she sees history repeating itself once more and realities begin to blur? Will she step in and help break the cycle? Or will she turn a blind eye and hope this time for a different outcome?Tous Droits Réservés

Table des matières

20 chapitres

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Evolution , écrit par andshesmiles

There are a lot of things you don't really think about until they happen to you. Take rape, for instance. I always thought, "That won't happen to me. I have a boyfriend. I trust him. He would never take advantage of me like that..." I couldn't have been more wrong. Love in this day and age is often confused for manipulation and abuse. The warning signs are here. The things we say will tell us everything that is wrong. You are worth more than what you think you are. It's not your fault. If they tell you otherwise, get out. Burn the bridge. Always remember someone is waiting for you to walk into their life. Someone needs you. Someone loves you. Getting away from all of the wrong people and finding the right ones could save you. I can promise you right now that it saved me. These are the journal entries and selected poems from my first experience of love that left a unpleasant taste in my mouth- quite literally. I am putting this out for the whole world to see because I hope everyone will learn from my experience. People can see. We have no excuses to continue living our lives in ignorance. ...WARNING... HARMFUL THEMES INCLUDING MENTION OF SUICIDE, SELF HARM, AND RAPE. THIS HAS EXPLICIT CONTENT. RECOVERY AND AWARENESS IS THE PURPOSE OF SHARING. DO NOT READ IF THESE THEMES ARE OFFENSIVE OR HARMFUL TO YOU.

A Little Bit Of Joy | ✔, écrit par wigglysubu

[Featured by wattpad romance, teen fiction, young adult and psychologicalnovel] Joy Jones was a seventeen-year-old kind and optimistic girl working in her grandpa's flower shop, but she had a secret. She was suffering from acute lymphoblastic leukaemia and wanted nothing, but to die peacefully. That was until Logan Kellerman, a young man with suicidal tendencies came storming into her life and stole roses from her grandpa's flower shop. Instead of running away with what he came for, he found himself falling deeper and deeper into her as she made his heart skip in delight, for she was, in her own words, a little bit of Joy. * * * from some of my readers of this book, thanks❤- ❝I LOVE YOUR STORY OKAY. THIS STORY AND YOUR WRITING- IT GIVES ME HOPE YOU KNOW.❞ - aimawrites ❝This is so different than so many stereotypical stories on here and i'm so glad i read it.❞ -lepus_leporis ❝They're both so poetic and beautiful and perfect for each other. GAHHhh I love them.❞ - alycecaswell ❝The way she vividly describes the world makes me so happy. Heat keeps rushing to my cheeks in pure euphoric joy. This book is making me so grateful for everything around me and I never want it to end.❞ - nylammeeyn [highest rank: 7 in sad] [cover by soulanatomy]

Her, écrit par cianafaven

Phoenix LeFlore: She is alive. Her brother is dead. People are moving forward. She is standing still. He was everything. Now she has nothing. Aza Ainsworth: She is a soft girl who acts tough. She is a warm girl who was treated coldly. Someone made her heart beat faster, then broke it. Can a broken heart help a broken soul? _____ Girl meets girl. Girl doesn't like girl. Then girl likes girl. Could she like her back? Two girls. One story. _____ "I like: The soft side underneath her tough side. Her mind. Her wit. Her cute awkwardness. The way she bites her nails. The way she dresses, like a 90s character, like someone in a movie. The way she smells, like mint, spicy but sweet, like her personality. Her green, serious, sexy eyes. Her laugh. Her name. Her hand in my hand. The stars on her face. The X on the back of her neck. I want to make her laugh all day, want to say her name, whisper it, scream it. Phoenix. I want to hold her hand, want to kiss all the stars on her face, and want to cherish the X on the back of her neck. I want to cherish her. I don't like: Phoenix."

Not Sick But Not Well., écrit par La_marquise732

This day wasn't an exception. I cried over and over until I could no longer, I wiped my tears and took the packages in my arms after opening the door. In the house, nothing new. They were still talking, so I had time to drop off the packages, and without even opening one, I headed to the showers, cleaned my face with water, and went to my room. This is roughly how my days as a child went. I know that it cannot be described as an ideal childhood, but it would certainly be the most beautiful period of my life. Despite family conflicts, school conflicts, loneliness, and fear, I was happy. I was happy because they were all there, happy because they always remained, despite my faults, and happy. After all, I knew that I had not yet experienced the worst. Happy because I knew, that sooner or later everything would end. So yes, I was as cowardly and useless as they all claimed and even more naive than they would have believed, but this vision that I had at that age kept me going. Although the truth was hard to accept, I was given no choice. So I accepted life as it came; I accepted myself and my truth, my weaknesses, and the fact that I had to get used to the idea that I would always be the first actor to die in films.

Silence is too loud (FINISHED), écrit par MargoLovesBooks

I remember the first time I couldn't hear. I was seven and sitting in a hospital room with my panicked mother. The doctors lips were moving but no sound as far as I could tell. I turned to my mother and she was in tears as her lips moved. No words, no sound, nothing. The doctor was trying to calm me down but how do you calm down a seven year old who is deaf for the first time in his life? You can't. So of course it took a lot sugary candy and writing on white boards to communicate as best as a first grader can. It was hard on my mum, especially because my dad walked out on us four years before that. I remember as a kid, coming home and locking myself in the basement and screaming at the top of my lungs. Trying to hear something, trying to wake myself from this nightmare and then one day, I realized that this fever dream was my reality and I couldn't change it. My mum tried her hardest for me, making an effort to learn sign language with me, sending me to a deaf school and making sure I was happy. I picked up Sign language easily because I was so young but I struggled trying to communicate with others. I couldn't communicate with the rest of my family, my mum had to communicate for me until I could lip read and try to teach my family how I communicate. Nine years later and things are still tough but not as hard as they were.

The Smile She Gives You , écrit par Juliaaa_k

"I can't do this anymore", I whisper, a single tear rolling down my cheek. I am looking at the floor and try desperately to keep my voice steady. "I gave my best this term. I really did. I studied more than ever, trained harder, tried my best with friends and family... I gave everything I have and I did not give up. But it's not working. It's just not working... I just cannot do it anymore... I cannot do any of it... I- I-... I just want to-" The tears start flowing faster now as my voice breaks. My whole body is quivering and I feel small and vulnerable like I have always been in the past couple of months. But now something is different. A warm hand touches my shoulder, showing me that I am not alone anymore. Astoria Wells is a senior high school student studying by the IB diploma program at a prestigious school in London. She trains in an elite swim team in Islington and is close to being accepted into the London Roar Academy. The coming year is extremely important to Astoria. However, as fate would have it, it's not going quite as planned. Astoria finds herself facing many challenges. Suddenly her everyday life starts breaking apart and she plunges into a deep abyss. It's pitch black. There is no light in sight. The girl is overwhelmed with frustration, suffering, and despair. This is a journey through dark valleys and obscure caves. But it is also a path of self-discovery and healing. Yes, her smile fades... but it reappears again and changes her forever.

I'll always remember us | ✔️, écrit par author_jxsmine

growing up and growing apart sometimes people who really love you have to leave you for your own good and it's okay to grow apart holding on to things that hurt isn't a wise choice They broke up in college but now are forced into an arranged marriage Will the sparks fly again or........ ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Wrong place, wrong time, wrong people, right man Surrounded with unfortunate events, unfortunate people Those slim waists, slim faces, long hair and long nails Those long legs, large hands, fluffy hair and beaded bracelets They don't belong together last days, best times, red hands and playing fights Social priorities, diwali parties, arm wrestling and life stories That's the closure I needed Searching the crows, you stand tall, stand out Walking out of that building with hurt hands and burnt minds scholar badge, scholar board, Council badges and red coats brown pants,white shirts, black shoes and red ties Sprawling crowds, yellow buses, red rickshaws and black cycles ice cream man, Mother Dairy, white vans and red lights Saw you walking on the footpath with rolled up sleeves with few friends I wouldn't wish I would be there I couldn't wish I could be there Could you be specific who do you like? Blinding lights, goodbyes, Friday promises and exam time White walls, black boards, blue desks and A/C nobs Sweet memories scattered in my head Teardrops all over my bed These are the things I'll never forget And that's the price I paid cover credit: pinterest

Noah (Obsessions in Overdrive #1), écrit par MarcelinePierson

I've always had a feeling that I would die young. Ever since I started pondering on deaths door I've had this feeling. I could care less about the hell and heaven shenanigans, but death. I want it. The end of my life. I want to be in my suit, in my coffin, in the ground and my soul to be gone. I've been waiting for 16 years, yet no sign of death opening his door no matter how many times I ring his doorbell. Yeah, I enjoy thinking about my end. Especially at moments like this... *** #1 physical #1 cuteguys #1 addiction #2 self-esteem *** Started: 7 November 2022 Finished: 18 April 2024

Trusting My Brothers, écrit par ajbear12

Liliana has always had a bad life. Ever since she was five, her mother would date the wrong people who would corrupt her, and she was the one who always got hurt. The abuse was usually mental, but then Liliana turned ten, and that's when it became physical. Four years later, she finds out that her mom died in a car accident and has to go live with her older brothers who she has no memory of. Will her brothers welcome's her with open arms? Will she learn to let them in? Will they find out the truth of her childhood? TRIGGER WARNING: includes abuse and mental health like anxiety, depression, and self harm

HERO SYNDROME, écrit par RE_BellBooks

"They say life is fragile, and we're not all guaranteed tomorrows." My name is Phoenix, and despite my name being a bird that rises from the ashes, I can barely rise from my bed on a good day. I was born to be fearless, but I am in fact, a fearful wimpy girl who can't keep her emotions in check. I'm convinced God is a sadist. My life is okay-ish. I mean if you consider a suicide attempt, a coward father, my overbearing family, my brother's vengeful ex-girlfriend, my amazing best friend and her asshole of brother, okay. Then yes, I live a comfortable life. Or so I thought, until Jace Stone happened.

Vous aimerez aussi

Slide 1 of 10

Evolution cover

A Little Bit Of Joy | ✔ cover

Not Sick But Not Well. cover

Silence is too loud (FINISHED) cover

The Smile She Gives You cover

I'll always remember us | ✔️ cover

Noah (Obsessions in Overdrive #1) cover

Trusting My Brothers cover

HERO SYNDROME cover

Evolution

There are a lot of things you don't really think about until they happen to you. Take rape, for instance. I always thought, "That won't happen to me. I have a boyfriend. I trust him. He would never take advantage of me like that..." I couldn't have been more wrong. Love in this day and age is often confused for manipulation and abuse. The warning signs are here. The things we say will tell us everything that is wrong. You are worth more than what you think you are. It's not your fault. If they tell you otherwise, get out. Burn the bridge. Always remember someone is waiting for you to walk into their life. Someone needs you. Someone loves you. Getting away from all of the wrong people and finding the right ones could save you. I can promise you right now that it saved me. These are the journal entries and selected poems from my first experience of love that left a unpleasant taste in my mouth- quite literally. I am putting this out for the whole world to see because I hope everyone will learn from my experience. People can see. We have no excuses to continue living our lives in ignorance. ...WARNING... HARMFUL THEMES INCLUDING MENTION OF SUICIDE, SELF HARM, AND RAPE. THIS HAS EXPLICIT CONTENT. RECOVERY AND AWARENESS IS THE PURPOSE OF SHARING. DO NOT READ IF THESE THEMES ARE OFFENSIVE OR HARMFUL TO YOU.