Harry Potter & The Hand God

Harry can't help it. Not really. Not always. But, sometimes, he forgets his books before going to class. Sometimes, he forgets assignments and entire conversations and due dates. This, that, the other -- all of it eludes him. It's not his fault. And for the first fourteen years of his life, it's not that big of a problem. He doesn't always have the best grades, sure, and isn't always liked amongst the other students, SURE -- but he can function. Properly, to a reasonable extent, function.

But it's Harry Potter's fifth year and on top of Tom Riddle -- a prodigious seventh year student who both stands for everything Harry hates and who has ignored his existence completely until now -- trying to seduce him, cryptic messages in Divination, leading a revolution, and the realization that his blood turns to mist when it touches air, Harry has lost his ability to function properly. He starts forgetting more than worksheets, more than names and faces.

When Ron and Hermione get asked: "Who are you, exactly?", they know it's time to step in.

Meanwhile, Nagini falls in love, Harry learns the oddities of his parents' lives and even odder deaths, and Tom Riddle plays with God.