Apples and peaches

Memories..... How sweet they are..... How bitter they are..... All so bitter sweet..... this does have mature content. please be aware of this. Thank you

these are all true thoughts and feelings. they belong to me and I've decided to share them with you. in hopes that i will one day feel better. most of these will be about a boy. and the rest will be about me. please be kind.

A gathering of my thoughts from most recent going back a few years. My journey through the mental wreckage from having multiple heart attacks and all the emotions, anger, withdrawal that I have been through.

A poetry book of my journey through friendship, love, loss, personal growth, confusion, betrayal, resentment, hate, hope, light, and eventual healing. Please enjoy

*trigger warning* I'm lost•I'm broken•I'm hurt•I'm sorry ~the ones marked "x" are about my struggle with food and eating~

ʏᴜᴡᴀɴᴀ ᴛᴇʀᴇɴ ʜᴀᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇʀ ʟɪғᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇᴅ ᴀғᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ. Sʜᴇ ʟᴇғᴛ ʜᴇʀ ʜᴏᴍᴇᴛᴏᴡɴ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇʀ ᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴏᴜs ᴏɴᴇs.sʜᴇ ʀᴀɴ ᴀᴡᴀʏ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ʜᴇʀ ᴅʀᴀsᴛɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ.ʜᴇʀ ʟɪғᴇ ᴡᴀs ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ʜᴀᴘᴘɪʟʏ ʙᴜᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ʜᴇʀ ᴘᴀsᴛ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴀsᴋɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀsᴏɴ ᴡʜɪᴄʜ sʜᴇ ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ᴀᴄǫᴜᴀɪɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ. Wʜᴀᴛ ᴡɪʟʟ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʜᴇʀ ᴅᴇsᴛɪɴʏ ʙʀɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴇ ᴘʜᴀsᴇ? ☾︎𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗘𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗱☽︎

please don't read this (i laugh here, but i'm not joking). this is a relic. consider this the museum of my progression in writing. you can find the better (marginally) stuff from this one in "Poems (collection 2.0)". Thoughtful, often sad, and angry poems. It's an outlet. A way to be heard. Not genius; only jumbled messes of the multitude of my thoughts fighting their way out of my brain. There's so much I want to say, but not enough time to say it. Here are my attempts.

Documentations of feelings, connections, and emotions. Contains perhaps some explicit things. Do not read if you are easily triggered, unprepared or too squeamish of all things raw and not sugarcoated. If my opinion angers you, for that I will be sorry. But I won't be responsible, nor will I let it affect me. In these chapters, you will read about heartbreak, tragedy, personal reflection and everything in between, and out and beyond. All this will be given either through short 'stories,' recounts or poems, and it also includes some of my favourite quotes, and other things like spells and old, unintentionally poetic text messages. If you decide to carry on and read, I hope you can relate. And I hope, all the more, that you can not because some things will come across as 'upsetting.' But what I do fundamentally hope is that it helps you awaken, open your eyes so you can feel. Because to feel means that you have a soul, and what is less beautiful than the knowledge of consciousness?

𝘽𝙤𝙤𝙠 1 𝙤𝙛 𝙏𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙎𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 "𝑨𝒂𝒑𝒏𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒂𝒓𝒂 𝒉𝒂𝒊 𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒂 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒂 𝒌𝒐. 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖. 𝑨𝒑𝒏𝒊 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒒𝒂𝒍 𝒃𝒉𝒊 𝒅𝒊𝒌𝒉𝒂𝒚𝒊 𝒕𝒐𝒉 𝑰'𝒍𝒍 𝒌𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 "~ 𝘼𝙣𝙣𝙖𝙝𝙞𝙩𝙖 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙠𝙪𝙧 " 𝑰'𝒍𝒍 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖. 𝑵𝒐𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒘. 𝑵𝒐𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓. 𝒀𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆."~ 𝗔𝗱𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗷 𝗦𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗵 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝖨𝗇 𝖺 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝖼𝖾 𝗅𝖾𝖽 𝖻𝗒 𝖺 𝗆𝖺𝗇 𝖿𝖾𝖺𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝖻𝗒 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒𝗈𝗇𝖾, 𝗍𝗋𝖺𝗀𝖾𝖽𝗒 𝗎𝗇𝖿𝗈𝗅𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗌 𝖺𝗇 𝖺𝗋𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝖺𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗆𝗉𝗍, 𝗆𝖾𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽, 𝗅𝖾𝖿𝗍 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗌𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋'𝗌 𝖼𝗅𝗈𝗌𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝗋𝗉𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖾𝖽. 𝖠𝗌 𝗁𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝗆𝖺𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝗈𝖻𝗅𝗂𝗏𝗂𝗈𝗎𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗇, 𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗇𝖾𝗑𝗉𝗅𝗂𝖼𝖺𝖻𝗅𝖾 𝗉𝗎𝗅𝗅 𝖽𝗋𝖾𝗐 𝗁𝗂𝗆 𝗍𝗈 𝗁𝖾𝗋. 𝖡𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗋𝖾𝗆𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖺𝗂𝗋 - 𝖶𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗌𝗁𝖾 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝖽𝗂𝗌𝖼𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝗋𝗎𝗍𝗁 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗇𝗏𝗈𝗅𝗏𝖾𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍?