hello, I'm Nicholas and I'm a writer. Over the years I've been through shit and have been through a few things and so I write about them and their effects. My goal is to raise awareness and help people understand the different effects these things/trauma can have on people, how it's different for everyone and how I cope with it. Here are some things to look out for if you plan on reading this book of poetry? free writing? I don't know, my thoughts i guess. The why's, the what's, the how's, the reasons, the excuses, the trauma. content warning: self-harm (many, not limited to cutting, abusive relationships (emotional), smoking.), sexual assault, (grooming/molesting/rape), derealization, dissociation, BDSM, Self-hatred, PTSD, BPD, MDD, GAD, insomnia.
I hope you understand a bit better about these things as you read, or maybe it brings you comfort to know you are not alone. whatever your feelings are, or what you're going through, I just wanted to remind y'all, you matter.
Also: try to keep it organized but the dates are generally going to be all over the place. Okay, thank you! Oh and, im working on a cover, for now have this quick thing I made.
I gave the best of myself to someone who didn't have anything to lose. I didn't know how to avoid my lover's toxic and abusive flames. My lover's twisted words were like a maze inside of my head that I couldn't escape. Sadly, my lover's actions hypnotized my thoughts and paralyzed my thinking. I learned the hard way that love isn't leaning in for a kiss, and a fist meets you halfway. Love isn't being a punching bag because someone decided they wanted to beat on you today. Love isn't saying I love you just because someone wants to keep you to themselves. I tried to be there for my lover, but I learned it is impossible to fix the broken pieces when the glass has shattered. There will always be pieces that are not repairable. However, I kept going right back to the person who I needed to walk away from. I was afraid, and I wasn't brave enough to wake up from this nightmare! I made the choice to suffer when life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. Will I find the courage to know my worth and know that I deserve better than the distasteful lies that are whispered in my ears? Will I have the strength to fight my insecurities? Will, I set myself free, or will I let my love be the death of me?