i'm not okay
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hope someday i'll be fine , honestly .
i don't know why i'm still here honestly .
note: tbh , i'm writing my own diary here . while listening to 'This is what depression feel like' by Marina Lin
hey , don't jugde me okay ? this is just my diary .
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#196
drowning
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I was drowning. I knew that. I also knew that the hands around my throat, pushing me deeper into the river water was the cause. What I didn't know was who was drowning me and why. It hurt thinking. It hurt to do anything right now. But I still screamed under the cold water and pushed the hands away as hard as I could. It didn't have much effect. I fought and fought, but I was getting weaker, and colder. The pain was overbearing. I couldn't breathe. It was the worst pain imaginable; and as the hands that were around my neck were forcibly ripped off by some unknown force, I slipped deeper into the depths of the river. My hair was straight above me along with my arms. My eyes were open and the water burned. A darkness started to pull me under, taking the pain away. I felt a small pressure around my waist, before the darkness completely consumed me. The last thing I remember is thinking, save me.Complete
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I couldn't answer him, and I could tell that he knew what he was doing. Emmett already had me so far under, making me believe that I had control over what has occurred these past few months. He had his hold on me, and he was only letting us sink into deeper waters. "I think you know how I feel, Grace." He told me, forcing his eyes on mine, making it impossible for me to respond. "I love you." His light, clear blue eyes were all I could see, reminding me of the lake, the sky, and of him, all at the same time. And as I looked into those blue irises, and whispered back my response as he brought his mouth closer to mine, I found that for the first time, I was alright with drowning, as long as it was Emmett pulling me under.Complete
Something came to Gisselle, when she suddenly crashed into a car while driving, a guy was there, helping her and trying to heal her. She felt something in her hand, she could smell it. She had a flower held in her hand. "Keep it safe, you might need it for luck." The guy's voice was low and mysterious. "What for?" I said, my head felt unconscious and light headed, I felt like I don't remember anything and wanted to throw up because of being light headed. The guy hasn't respond, but I got up to the door and deciding that if I should go home or go to school in the middle of the day. A hand held my wrist, still holding the flower that was in my hand. "Not yet, I'm not done. You have a major bruise on your head, I'll get you some ice." I didn't want ice, I felt like I wanted to go home, but I stayed for a while because I don't know where had my car go or where to exit. How did I get here? What happened? Why am I here? I needed answers, but I guess I'll save it for the last.
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