What could I have done to help Bart Simpson live a better life: ToH Edition

Continuing from the main three "what could I have done to help Bart Simpson live a better life" books, not only will I help Bart Simpson in this one, but I will help everybody while I am masked holding a red lightsaber, nobody can tell if I'm a sith or if I'm a Jedi in disguise... ladies and gentlemen, "The Wizard Sith" with all the powers I have.. figured I can put a name in for myself in the Treehouse of Horror series. Enjoy, and please do not let any of your kids see these... Halloween candy is not included, sorry... lol. and as far as we know the scariness is about to become real!