It's the pain that keeps me alive
  • Reads 38,372
  • Votes 1,037
  • Parts 32
  • Time 1h 26m
  • Reads 38,372
  • Votes 1,037
  • Parts 32
  • Time 1h 26m
Complete, First published Mar 27, 2022
Mature
Y/n was kidnapped by hydra as a child and trained to become an assassin. Kill by kill she has been slowly getting her revenge. The last person on her hit list, the winter soldier. 

Will a run in with the avengers alter her aim? 

(buckyxreader)
(tonystarksdaughter)


This whole thing is just a main character moment.

Its pretty fast pace and pretty easy to read. 

This is the first book i've wrote so beware of the bad writing

TW: mentions of and attempted suicide, drug use, depression, mentions of an eating disorder, graphic self harm, mentions of rape, sexual assault

I do not own any of the characters apart from y/n- they belong to Marvel.
All Rights Reserved
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"A gift." One guard says to someone else in the room as he leaves. I groan in pain and scrunch myself into a ball, squeezing my eyes shut. Seconds later I hear shuffling and then someone is beside me. "Y/N?" Asks a voice. No- Bucky's voice. My whole body relaxes and I let out a soft breath. He's ok. ════ ⋆★⋆ ════ Staying together has always been the most important thing to Y/N Rogers. After the death of her mother left her an orphaned 15-year-old, her friendship with her older brother Steve and best friend Bucky mattered more than ever. She latched onto them, finding some bittersweet solace in their closeness. In turn, they finished raising her. The three were inseparable. Even now, six years later, nothing has changed. So when Bucky and Steve both leave to fight in the war the last thing she's going to do is stay in Brooklyn. Nothing's too far if it keeps their trio together. Not leaving everything she knows behind, not shoving down feelings she's refused to acknowledge for years, not even risking her life time and time again. It's the kind of commitment fueled by an infinite amount of love, but guaranteed to end in disaster, every single time. BOOK ONE IN THE EDELWEISS SERIES BOOK TWO: I WATCHED THE SKY CRUMBLE - #1 in hydra (7/5/21) - #1 in marvelsmut (8/7/21) - #5 in hurtcomfort (8/2/21) - #5 in marvelfanfiction (8/2/21) - #12 in buckybarnes (8/7/21) CONTENT WARNINGS: graphic torture, violence, death, loss of identity, themes surrounding sexual assault and predatory sexual behavior between adults, sexual themes, brief anxiety, PTSD, smut, ANGST, swearing. Please feel free to point out typos! (Just be polite about it)- also please keep in mind before passing judgment that this entire book was written over the course of my 8th grade school year Started - October 2020 Finished - July 2021 (Being edited) All characters and events (other than ones of my own creation) belong to Marvel.
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She is a girl when hydra took her... Until the avengers find her, but that isn't where the story is beginning but it's also... not ending there _________________________________________ ❗Trigger warning for torture and all kind of genuinely triggering shit❗ _________________________________________ This doesn't play in a time zone but, there are some spoilers for civil war and stuff like that but Ultron never happened, end game never happened... (you'll see) _________________________________________ I don't own marvel I only own everything not marvel related and the storyline I made from numerous story's I read and my own fantasy _________________________________________ Number one story on mentaldisorder😝😝(22 January 2025) 11th on depression😍😙(19 February 2025)