A Sculptor's Journal: Little Things

[Age 15]

Throughout my early high school years, I encountered a lot of negative/existential thoughts as they came with adolescence. Quite often I would question my purpose and the systemic flaws that occurred around me, primarily with the schooling system and how social hierarchies formed within them.

"Little things" is a piece that I wrote in the middle of a cold October night in 2016. My younger self utilized the page to navigate the topic of a meaningful life.

Growing up in an immigrant household and a middle-class community with a decent Asian population, I had often felt inadequate compared to my peers in terms of intelligence and social standing. As my peers took upper-level classes, got high scores, and took on positions within the science and debate teams, it was hard for me to catch up and as a result, I felt deeply insecure in the first few years of high school. I was shunned from the Asian community for not being smart enough and occasionally some would degrade my intelligence as an "Asian". Suffering from the Asian model minority myth was traumatizing but it helped me grow to be where I wanted to be. Although these experiences put me through a lot of mental anguish, they helped shape my values and outlook in life. I realized that I although I was not overly competitive with grades and studying as hard as I should have, I discovered and refined a lot of my personal talents such as art, music, dance, and the art of introspection. I also built many meaningful relationships that money cannot buy. All in all, I realized that proactively finding meaning in everything, even the little things, will fill one's life with vibrant colors and indescribable joy.