There lived a certain man in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the Bible like a preacher
Full of ecstasy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire
Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on
He ruled the Russian land and never mind the Czar
But the kazachok he danced really wunderbar
In all affairs of state he was the man to please
But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze
For the queen he was no wheeler dealer
Though she'd heard the things he'd done
She believed he was a holy healer
Who would heal her son
Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on
But when his drinking and lusting
And his hunger for power
Became known to more and more people
The demands to do something
About this outrageous man
Became louder and louder
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
"This man's just got to go", declared his enemies
But the ladies begged, "Don't you try to do it, please"
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute, they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame
"Come to visit us", they kept demanding
And he really came
Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
They put some poison into his wine
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia's greatest love machine
He drank it all and said, "I feel fine"
Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
They didn't quit, they wanted his head
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia's greatest love machine
And so they shot him 'til he was dead
Oh, those Russians
This book is rated R. Please proceed with caution. This is the more raunchy version of the book.
***
We stand in silence, as I sip my water, and he watches me do it.
Finally, he breaks the silence.
"I'm sorry if I... offended you by sleeping in your bed last night. This morning. Whatever."
"It's fine. You didn't do anything."
He nods, his eyes far away, as if thinking of how to word his views.
"I didn't do anything... but I wanted to. I wanted to so badly."
I nearly choke on my water. I don't know what's worse; his confession, or how nonchalantly he says it, as if he's reading the weather.
"Come again?" I say, thinking that I must have heard him wrong.
He shrugs. "I want to f*ck you." Again, he is as nonchalant as ever.
I just stare stupidly, my mouth agape.
He closes my mouth, grinning at me, wicked intentions in his eyes. Not so nonchalant anymore, I see.
"Um, I-I...I don't..."
I stop talking, realising what a total idiot I sound like, while his grin broadens. In that second, I am grateful for my dark skin, as he can't see me blushing.
"Tongue-tied?"
My cheeks get hotter. "Shut the f*ck up."
He actually laughs.
"Don't worry, honey," he says, his hot breath brushing against my face, shocking me. When did he get this close?
"One day," he whispers, now in my ear,"I will f*ck you."
I realise that my eyes are closed and I open them. He's gone. I stand there frozen, in total shock.
What the actual f*ck just happened?
***
When all you know is disappointment, you become your own best friend. You isolate yourself from everyone else. You need no one; love is a weakness.
That's the case with me.
Then, Prince Charming rides in and changes everything.
Except, he isn't a prince.
He is light, but he holds darkness; he is joy, but he knows pain; he is beauty, but within him is imperfection and ugliness.
He is just like me, but he is nothing like me.