I miss me

They try to run but there's no time. We try to hide but there's No TIME.
when I was a kid, I tried to learn all I could but now I wish I could lose it all. <TW: As I lay here choking on my blood I stare at the heavens and ask for one last ray to see me off. As the rain washes my blood along the earth, being soaked in by the hungry land. That day something was different, something changed in me. A new light shines deep within me, my torso once in two now slowly becoming one as black tar slowly stitched me back together. The greedy land soaks up my blood, now not a drop lies in my body but the gods are ready as the earth slowly starts to reach for me taking me to its restless lands replacing my blood with tar.
^ This fic is a combination of a BBC's Merlin set in the future/ current times but it's more of an Adjacent timeline to ours, OC insert, and a bit of Arthurian myth set in the modern day.
This is my first story so sorry if it's bad
Even though it's an OC insert it can be read as a self-insert.
OC's name is pronounced as Z-AYAH (Zaya)

TW
-bad writing
- gore
- gay?
- no real sense of time
- I'm a big fan of angst
- I ship Lancelot x Gawain as well as Merlin x Arthur. And may add it to the book.
- no publishing schedule