self-sabotage

I should feel bad right now, but I don't. I didn't harm anyone. I didn't harm myself. So, I would consider this a victory honestly. How can this be bad if it makes me happy? And by now you and I both know that's not me talking. Not the rational, logical, me anyway.

I feel like I should give her another name. Distance her from me. Because most of the time I can't relate to her.