This Is A Wasteland
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- Parts 24
*This is Paradise sequel*
I have this bad habit of getting close to people and thinking that they're always going to be by my side; but eventually they always leave. I have this bad habit of loving people a little too much, when they don't even love me back; and when they leave me my heart feels like someone threw it from the sky. I have this bad habit of caring for people, when they don't even care about me at all. Perhaps, if they saw through my eyes they'll see the scars I have deep down inside.
I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired.
I wish feelings didn't exist. Why do feelings exist anyways? I always fall for everything and let it destroy me. It's my fault after all, but I still have hope that one day I will find a person that shares the same bad habits as me.
~ A.E
All Rights Reserved
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He always assumes I want money. That money can replace my desire for a mother, for a female figure who will guide me through the darkness. All he can provide is money. He assumes that because I use the money, that I'm happy, that I don't spend night hunched over my toilet bowl physically sick to my stomach with the guilt of killing my mother. He assumes that because I have friends, that the smile on my face is genuine. That because I smile and confidently stride out of my room in a bikini, that I love myself and the way I look. He assumes everything about me, because he doesn't know me. I'm his daughter, and with the simple fact, he assumes that by just looking at me he knows my every thought. Does he know of the blood I spill when I have no other method of coping? Does he know of the times I sit and ponder about what it would be like to go through death? Does he know that when he leaves for work, I cry myself to sleep and wish for a mother? Does he know that I could care less about him? I hate him. But he loves me. Does he know, that through all this mess, I just want a mother. Because according to Disney, mother knows best?
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