Shrek luvs his mud

Shrek luvs his mud

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WpMetadataReadMatureOngoing<5 mins
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Thu, Apr 21, 2022
shrek hates fiona... he wants a divorce, even tho they have crotch goblins..... he doesnt care, bc he loves just one thing: mud. ***Disclaimer: this is a metaphor for the love between me and my wife. also i dont own these characters okay
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~Sequel to Shrek 2: Happily 'N'Ever After [Book 2]~ Uncle Connor: Now remember: No nagging, bragging, sweating, fretting, slipping, tripping, slurping, burping, twittering, or frittering allowed. Me: What if I fall gracefully? Zero: That's literally the same thing as slipping and tripping, minus the graceful part. Me: Really? Aunt Ella: Yes. Me: So...I can get away with falling gracefully, then? Alice: No...not unless you're doing it on purpose to catch someone's attention~ As you can tell, that's how my lessons on learning to be a proper Princess usually start. Strict lessons on manners, learning the history of the past royals, which cutlery you have to use with certain meals, etc. etc. Blah, blah, blah. And the worst lesson of them all: Ballroom dancing! On top of that, I'm constantly reminded that I need to find my 'true love' and receive true love's kiss by sunset on my 17th birthday, otherwise I turn into a frozen statue just like my parents, grandmother, and kingdom, and stay like that forever. When Shrek asked me to go with him to visit Worcestershire Academy and find Arthur Pendragon, the one uncle Harold mentioned before he took his final breath, you could imagine the relief I felt to finally have the opportunity to escape my lessons without someone dragging me back every time I tried to ditch them. Question is: Will I be able to break the spell before the deadline? What if Arthur is 'the one'? Will I finally get the happy ending everybody keeps teasing me about? Completed: 25/03/2021 ✔️ Shrek: Once Upon A True Love's Kiss [Book 1] ✔️ Shrek 2: Happily 'N' Ever After [Book 2] ✔️ Shrek The Third: The Would Be King & I [Book 3] ✔️ **Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing, with the exception of Willow, Alice, and Zero, and this fanfic. All rights go to Dreamworks, Don Bluth, etc. Any fan art used belongs to their rightful owners. This is literally a fanfic made for fans of fans - nothing more, nothing less.**

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