Long jokes - MaGiCaLfAiLuRe - Wattpad

Story cover for Long jokes by MaGiCfAiLuRe

Long jokes

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darkhumor emotionalrollercoaster funny jokes laugh lol

My family is full of jokes, myself included. But this is about the long jokes that I've heard. Not your typical knock knock joke type of humor, full fledged STORIES. And I'm here to share them with the world of wattpad readers. I doubt very many people will see this but I hope the ones who do enjoy these.

Some of the jokes are a little graphic and dark so I'll put TWs, tell me if I missed one though 👍All Rights Reserved

darkhumor emotionalrollercoaster funny jokes laugh lol

Table of contents

Quit while your a head
Fri, Apr 22, 2022

1 part

Quit while your a head
Fri, Apr 22, 2022

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|Shyly Asked| ✓ by mlywllms

----- I gasped, but soon enough the rain settled the flames down, making it disappear. I flipped onto my back, making the worst decision of my life. I cried out harder, with unbearable pain shooting through my shoulder. I quickly rolled onto my left side of the body. Making my backwards leg and popped shoulder hurt a tad less. I laid there, crying my eyeballs out. The rain got lighter by the second and stars started to appear in the night sky with the thick clouds drifting away. As the rain officially stopped, I was welcomed to darkness. ----- A/N: Now, I was 13 years old when I created this, and I am highly aware of some errors with spelling and the structure of some chapters. I am going over it however and besides the errors, a lot of people seemed to enjoy it, and I hope you do too 🙃. ----- Highest Rank: - #15 Werewolf - #51 Heart - #533 Depression

Caged By Him by moonchild80

"WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT INSIDE YOUR HEAD?" He trapped my trembling body between his arms and slammed his fist into the wall. I flinch at the sound as I feel tears forming in my eyes. "I'M SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR CRYING. JUST ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU'RE NEVER LEAVING. THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW, WITH ME" He spits, anger consuming his voice as I push myself further against the wall. Shutting my eyes closed and turning my face to the side as I do. Moments later, I feel his rough hand on my waist and his finger grazing my cheek. "Look at me, love." His hand grips onto my jaw, his thumb playing across my lower lip. He turns my face to meet his as I lower my gaze to the floor. He lowers himself to my level and I feel his breath fanning my cheek causing my breathing to become unsteady. "I love you so much, darling. But you need to learn. You need to learn that you won't be going anywhere. You're mine." With that being said, his other hand slides down to my waist "Your entire body, your mind, your soul. All mine." All I could do was tremble at his touch. How can someone so beautiful be so heartless? ~~~~~~~~~~ All a 19 year old Aurora Shaw wanted to do was work to make a living and volunteer at the orphanage. Unfortunately for her, ruthless and cunning 26 year old Mafia leader and billionaire Tristan Black had other plans for her. He's been waiting for the perfect moment to kidnap her and finally make her his queen after 2 years of watching and stalking her every move. He'd kill anyone who gets in the way of getting what he wants. What will happen when he ruins everything she wanted and forces her to marry him? Will she escape and resist him? Or will she submit and accept her fate?

Only His (mafia romance) by Baexwrites

He leans in, his breath ghosting over my skin, every inch of space between us collapsing. "Still pretending you have a choice?" His voice is soft, almost amused. My throat tightens, but I force the words out anyway. "I don't belong to you." A low, knowing chuckle rumbles through him. Fingers tighten around my chin, tilting my face up until I'm caught in his unyielding gaze. Cold. Calculating. "Belong?" he echoes, as if the word itself is laughable. "You exist because I allow it. You breathe because I haven't taken that from you, yet." Tears burn at the edges of my vision, but I don't dare look away. "Fight all you want," he murmurs, eyes scanning my face, his grip unshaking. "Scream, beg, break--I don't care. In the end, little one, you'll learn. Because every part of you?" His lips brush against my ear, a cruel whisper of finality. "It's already mine." __________________________________________ A meaningless prank call caused this disaster, a series of deaths and misery. And maybe it was more than a prank call... maybe it was your loved ones, the people you least expect it to be, to stab you in the back. After all, they do say money changes a person. **18+** **DARK ROMANCE**

Le Gasp The Club by _Baby_Bitch__

If you say le gasp you are welcome here. You will not be criticized or punished for your choice of language here. Le gasp is accepted among us members of society. If you say Le gasp as well, I welcome you with open arms to join us. You are home now my children. Let us embrace. {Basically me venting bout life and my chisme} (This is really for fun, if you want to have some too then please join the family!) [slow, unsteady updates] #9: random thoughts #38: tagging #34: community #2: legasp

Mayonnaise x Waxed Lightly Weathered Cut Copper Stairs by ceravehcb

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Rib-cracking Jokes by heirneeee

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Revenge Of The Fat Wallflower|✓ by Nikithasuz123

(Editing) His eyes widen and his lips part in pain as he stares wordlessly at me and then at the large blotch that forms around his chest . He clutches it as he coughs in pain. I didn't get to push him into a sewer, but this feels so much better. I sardonically chuckle to myself before leaning in to whisper into his ear. "Gotcha." - - - I was a nobody . A big fat wallflower that was always in the background. The only mistake I made was confessing to the school's prince. That day I was completely and utterly humiliated. It's been two years and now I'm back. Back for some sweet revenge. #Winner of the Pre-Watty awards for best laugh worthy book. *Filled with humor and jokes that can't stop you from chuckling ;) # 1 ranking in Stop bullying (10/5/18) #11 In Humor (1/6/18) ©Nikithasuz123 Cover credits to unreadymage. Amazing cover XD

EVERTHING IS CANON! chapter 3. (1901 - 1915) by James-the-Bond-005

1. I own none of these characters, storys or art 2.This was made for fun and this i just a wacky fun fanfic With my favorite franchise 3. At the end I am going to do a huge credit which will give credit to everyone. 4. This is a huge one. This fanfic consists of some controversial stuff like cursing, child abuse, violence, adult themes, nudity, violence and also could be offensive to the asian community, the black community, the hispanic comunity and the lgbtq comunity. I have a lot of friends and family members who are part of these communities and they read this story. I am not against these communities or races and have respect for them so this is all for laughs so if you are easily offended by any of the things i mentioned then please click off. Also there are alot of sacrilegious jokes so yeah sorry god. 5. THIS STORY IS CONFUSING AS HECK! 6. recommend you read the first 2 chapter 7. it also gets a bit dark.

Dysarthria | Dialogue Story ✔ by HappyEndingWriter

Dys • ar • thri • a difficult or unclear articulation speech that is otherwise linguistically normal - Doubt it? How do you know this blossoming friendship won't turn into something more? Cuz that kind of stuff only happens in Wattpad books. Someone texting or calling the wrong number, they fall in love, meet in person, confess their undying love for each other, happily ever after, the end. Too cliché. Even for me. - Gracie Summers was born with a brain injury which led to dysarthria. She hardly every spoke to anyone outside her family, and even then, she used short sentences. When she receives a text from the wrong number, will she develop feelings for him or succumb to the threats from the girl whose number he was supposed to text that night? {EDITED COMPLETE BY ME / @JULIE_PROOFEDIT } Word count // 20,000 Word count (after editing) // 50,000+ #15 / 26.1K stories in 'truestory' tag {7/21/2022} #1 / 44.5K stories in 'nonfiction' tag {5/17/22} #1 / 302K stories in 'shortstory' tag {5/27/22} #1 / 168K stories in 'call' tag {8/6/22} #1 / 132K stories in 'short' tag {6/8/22} #1 / 186K stories in 'comedy' tag {7/21/24} #8 / 238K stories 'funny' tag {7/22/24}

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Slide 1 of 9

|Shyly Asked| ✓ cover

Caged By Him cover

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Le Gasp The Club cover

Mayonnaise x Waxed Lightly Weathered Cut Copper Stairs cover

Rib-cracking Jokes cover

Revenge Of The Fat Wallflower|✓ cover

EVERTHING IS CANON! chapter 3. (1901 - 1915) cover

Dysarthria | Dialogue Story ✔ cover

|Shyly Asked| ✓

----- I gasped, but soon enough the rain settled the flames down, making it disappear. I flipped onto my back, making the worst decision of my life. I cried out harder, with unbearable pain shooting through my shoulder. I quickly rolled onto my left side of the body. Making my backwards leg and popped shoulder hurt a tad less. I laid there, crying my eyeballs out. The rain got lighter by the second and stars started to appear in the night sky with the thick clouds drifting away. As the rain officially stopped, I was welcomed to darkness. ----- A/N: Now, I was 13 years old when I created this, and I am highly aware of some errors with spelling and the structure of some chapters. I am going over it however and besides the errors, a lot of people seemed to enjoy it, and I hope you do too 🙃. ----- Highest Rank: - #15 Werewolf - #51 Heart - #533 Depression