I'm in a dream that I want to end as soon as I can. I started hurting everyone. I can't stop all these endless rage attacks inside me.
Everyone out there is a psychologist, and they're giving me a thousand ideas and questions. The words they say come out of my ear, they come out of my ear, the hatred in me separates me from me. He's trying to create me like another human being, and he's slowly taking over me, and I'm scared. There's no limit to what I can do, I can say that my brain is forcing me or they are the ones who are forcing me to do the magic about the dark information I've learned from the books I've read. I live at the top of the resort where I live, the whole town is at my feet.
I'm writing these sentences to you while he's away, maybe these are my last lines, I'm slowly surrendering myself to him, I'm out of strength. If you find this notebook and read these sentences before I lose my temper, please help me, I can't scream anymore I can't leave the house, I can't sleep at night, when I sleep, the nightmares are endless chases.
My name is Lydia, and I live in the house at the top of the village, and what I want to tell you in these lines. Short excerpts from my life, driven to brutality.
If you can find this notebook or see me outside, please understand that I'm asking for help through my eyes. He came again and wants to get me please help me please save me Lydia...
I wish you good reads from an incident that happened.
All I want is to be alone. I wish that no one existed. My name is Zeina. I don't talk much. Not at all actually. Well not really. I sign or write things down in my notebook. I can speak. But I really only speak to those I trust. Today I'm gonna die. Don't feel bad for me, I am choosing my fate after all. Im tired of living. It's exhausting really living up to your own expectations and the expectations of others. I'm sick of shaving every inch of my limbs, plucking my eye brows, doing my hair, getting dress. Honestly I'm sick of people. My hair is long and dark brown with blonde in it. I have bangs that hang over my face and ever so slightly across my eyes. I don't have friends. My family sucks. So if you're reading this I have a question for you. Are you an outcast too. Everyday I come home from school, take sleeping pills, and go to sleep. Now I just want to sleep. Infinitely.
(A/N I'm currently editing this!)