Note to Eighth Grade Self

Quiet enough that the teachers can’t hear it, but loud enough so that you and everyone else can. Do not cry. Pretend that you didn’t hear. Pretend that two of your best friends and half of your other friends aren’t staring at you. Pretend that they aren’t talking about you in the “whispers” that everyone can hear. When Akanksha asks you if you’re okay, lie. Nod and force a smile. When someone else asks you what you’re going to do, tell them: Nothing. Hold your chin up high. Force another smile. A laugh. Hide your real emotions. This is what you’re good at, after all. Everyone will relax, believe you, stop asking. When you get home, cry. It’s okay to cry.