Battle of Behemoth (Short Chapter Series)

Guys, this is a very gruesome series of short chapters that I wrote for eighth grade writing class. This upload is the same as for my excerpt from my idea for Other World (To Walk Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death). Please criticize it, and feel free to tell me whether it is worth continuing. Also, this story has characters that ACTUALLY exist in the real world who are close to me, and others who are not-so close to me. And then there are fictional characters. If you are reading this and happen to be one of the real world characters in this story (you know who you are), feel free to contact me through private messaging so we could work out a name change for future versions if you feel uncomfortable with your real name in a public story.