How You Get 'Em
- Reads 5,521
- Votes 268
- Parts 7
Ongoing1h 39m
Last published Sun, Nov 8, 2015
It was a funeral for heaven's sake. The only body she should've been focused on was the one in the casket, which also happened to belong to her uncle. What a good man he was... so she'd been told. She barely knew the guy and only came back home to pay her respects.
But as the intense stare from across the church never left her face, she couldn't ignore the invisible pull between them. It would've been fine if he were any other guy, but there was just one teeny, tiny problem.
He was her cousin's fiance.
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funeral
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Someone dumped a body in an open grave at the cemetery, and the undertaker isn't happy about it. But he isn't happy about the police trying to solve it, either. In fact, the undertaker tries to solve it himself. The undertaker's name is Yvgeny, and Yvgeny is an unlikeable and morally ambiguous Sherlock Holmes aficionado who lives with his mother in a mortuary in middle-Georgia. He wears Victorian era dress and speaks with a Polish accent. Don't let Yvgeny's career choice scare you away from the story- while some of Yvgeny's antics will make you cringe, there is nothing gory or violent. The story begins with Yvgeny preparing for a funeral. He gets annoyed when he discovers someone dumped a body into a grave he had dug for someone else. Always looking for a way to make an extra buck, he hauls the body back to his office to inspect. After filching a nice watch, he calls the police. Of course, Yvgeny doesn't like the police, and he eventually decides to solve the crime himself. With his love for Sherlock Holmes and inflated ego, he estimates his chances of solving the crime are far higher than those of the detectives. Yvgeny teams up with a motley assortment of not always like-minded characters in this small Georgia town, trying to stay one step ahead as the detectives close in. The local talent includes the mentally deficient one-eyed owner of the army-navy surplus store and the local doctor/deputy coroner who is a recovering hippie with a Tom Selleck fetish. In the middle of everything, Yvgeny falls for the crude and vulgar granddaughter of an old man buried in his cemetery. She is turned off by his bizarre fashion and strange interests, but Yvgeny is persistent. Will he solve the crime? Will he get the girl? Read and find out!
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