Story cover for I Prefer A Sunny Rain by Bonsayieee
I Prefer A Sunny Rain
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  • WpView
    Reads 28
  • WpVote
    Votes 4
  • WpPart
    Parts 5
Ongoing, First published May 26, 2022
These are the moments where realization often hits in. Continue to value who are needed to be valued and only then you'll be contented and find what happiness really is.
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What we have is just now. As long as she loves me. As long as she wants to be with me. As long as there is 'we'. I love her! But the rainbow is not just a blend of vibrant and bright colors. It doesn't even stay for a long period of time-- just enough for us to see and in a fleet of time is gone, leaving us wondering if it's real. A rainbow doesn't have black and white. It wasn't just like that. Same as love. Same as us. There were times that i want to give her up. Not because my love did fade, rather, my love is too much. Too much that letting her go is the only option left for her to choose me without hesitation, without guilt, freed of lies. I want her to grow, to weigh things as it is. I want her to make me feel that being with me is her choice. I want her to realize that i am hers and that she have to surrender herself to me as well. I want her to love me because that is the way she feels and not because it was the safest way. Being with her is paradise. It was a mixture of colored pastel. It was too vibrant to explain. But at a sudden twist of downs and ups, we are shaking. Loving her has become my weakness. The weakening thought of losing her when I fuck up is too much to run me insane. I'm overreacting perhaps. But being with her, means walking in a narrow-road of heaven. There's no security, no assurance. One wrong move, and I'll be slipping away. Just in the never ending pain of darkness, of solitude, of self-struggle. Loving her has become my addiction. I couldn't get enough of it. But so they say, what's too much can cause harm. Maybe I'm loving her too much that she finds it hard to breathe when i'm around. But yes, it is just a wishful thinking; things that I'll surely not going to say to her because i will never ever earn the courage to say so. We are just nothing but a 'fateful coincidence.'
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*Not everything stated in the prologue accurately reflects the main ideas of the story.* Have you ever been so fierce, so strong, so untamed? Have you ever been so independent - always thinking, always saying you will never be weak? Have you ever felt invisible to everyone, like you're standing in a crowded room screaming silently, yet no one turns their head? You want to be seen, desperately, but it feels like they look right through you. Have you ever hated someone not for who they are, but for what they expect you to be? They admire your strength, applaud your resilience, and praise your confidence, but none of them have ever stayed long enough to witness your weakness. They only love the strong version of you, the one that doesn't cry, the one that holds everything together even when you're falling apart inside. And so, you hide it. You keep your silence and wear your strength like armor. Because if you break - who will catch you? If you let the tears fall - will they still respect you? Will they still stay when they finally see the parts of you that aren't as perfect or fearless? Sometimes, it feels like being strong has become your only identity. But what they don't know is that even the fiercest souls need rest, even the wildest hearts get tired, and even the strongest people long to be held-not because they are weak, but because they've been strong for too long. But you are not just strength. You are softness, too. You are the quiet ache behind the brave face, the sleepless nights behind the bright smile. And though you have survived countless seasons alone, deep down, there's a part of you whispering: Let someone in. Let someone see the chaos and call it beautiful. Let someone touch the thorns and still choose to stay. Maybe you're not meant to be tamed. Maybe you're meant to be understood. Because even wildflowers deserve a place to bloom freely, without having to hide their roots.
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