Every now and then I get intrusive thoughts so bad that they make me scream and cry until I feel like I'm going to die. The only way to get rid of these thoughts, and the feelings that come with them, is to expose them to the people they are about. Sometimes I can talk to the people who are involved, sometimes saying something is worse than keeping quiet... but I can't keep these thoughts with me forever. I am telling my stories here, letting out my deepest feelings and thoughts, allowing my triggers to take me over and leaving the destruction here.