The Rush Of A River
  • LECTURAS 71
  • Votos 1
  • Partes 13
  • Hora 1h 2m
  • LECTURAS 71
  • Votos 1
  • Partes 13
  • Hora 1h 2m
Continúa, Has publicado jun 08, 2022
Contenido adulto
"River, will you please just wait!"

I whipped around, every emotion in my body finally boiling over and prepared to spill out. 

"Wait for what, Jude? For you to grow up? For you to act like any of this actually matters to you? For you to completely and totally implode my whole life as I know it? I don't think so. I love you so much. I love you so hard that my soul collapses when I think about you. But I can't keep waiting. I can't wait anymore. I'm done," I cried, everyone in the terminal staring at us. 

Jude stared at me as if I had just stolen every ounce of air in the world and told him one breath was 200 dollars. Though he was stricken with some nameless emotion, he looked beautiful. In my mind, I knew that this would be my last memory of him for many years. But his beauty could not make up for the loss of words, the loss of any explanation or final plea for me to stay and come home with him. The silence was deafening, but it was the only answer I needed.
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"Will be there in 20?" The message from Dean reads. My brain says I should text back saying 'I will rip your balls off if you come over' or 'I am not a sex toy, you could come over and use me as and when you please' or at least a simple 'No'. But I don't. I squat next to my bed and pull out the white powder to numb the pain. I told myself that I am done with Dean and I am going to get my life back together. I cleaned up, battled withdrawals and even improved my grades. One text from him and I am snorting coke. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I let Dean treat me like trash? Why do I set myself up knowing that it's only a matter of time before he will run back to Sherley leaving me in limbo? Why? l have asked myself the same question a million times but I couldn't come up with an answer that I can use to justify myself. When it came to Dean, I was a masochist. I let him use me and discard me without any fight. Dean was my first Friend. Kiss. Sex. Love. Everything. I wanted to be his everything too. I was his first Friend. Kiss and Sex but Love.. that was Sherley. His family chauffeur's daughter. I want to be a better human and say I didn't hate her. But I am not. I am just human and I hate her with the ferocious of a thousand sun. I hate that she plays him like a fiddle and he dances to it. I hate that they fight for silly reasons and Dean comes running to me. I hate that I let him in even when I know she will reel him back in no time. I hate that he is my weakness and Sherley is his. I wished that my best friend would turn to be my lover. But he just ripped my heart out. It time to let go and move on.