Everybody says that the prime of their life was in their teen years. I've always misinterpreted that saying, I thought people were talking about being at the top of the food chain and perhaps being some odd form of a great ape during adolescence. Regardless, my teenage years were possibly some of the most difficult that I will ever have to manage going forward; but the story of how I got here, standing, at almost nineteen, is more interesting than any documentary that Sir David Attenborough could conjure. And it even includes twice the number of wild animals. Without any form of human morality whatsoever.