My Crappy Life !
- Reads 47
- Votes 2
- Parts 2
Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Sat, Jan 24, 2015
I have a best friend who is dating my other best friend. I feel like If I can't speak up and tell them exactly how i'm feeling, then i can't be friends with them anymore. I might say something that will hurt someones feelings but I can't keep it to myself anymore.
I was even considering suicide at a moment in my life. Only 1 best friend text me and exactly said, "Change your name. Ain't no one going to shoot you. I don't ever wanna see your kik name like that, ok?" At that moment, I realized that I mattered to at least 1 person, (other than my family).
IDC, If it was only person. But I knew that if i even tried to comment suicide that that one person would really be affected. And i could not bare, looking down and see that person going crazy. I might seem like i'm in a good place but i'm not. I have really dark and deep thoughts that I feel like i can't tell anyone because they will judge me.
So, I keep it to myself. Now i'm realizing that I can't KEEP everything bottled up inside anymore. I will just lose it. I might say somethings to people that I don't mean. I might act like someone i'm not just so that people won't ask me whats wrong. But most times when they do, I lie. I don't want to feel like this anymore.
I'm done with people controlling my life. I'm done with being afraid to say what i'm feeling. I know, it might take awhile to get back to how I was. But this is a step. Before, I couldn't even bare the fact that i'm feeling this way. Let alone, talk to someone or people about it.
I don't want you guys to think that i'm seriously going to hurt my self. I don't want to die just because of my crappy life and the shitty people that are in it. But, I know the two people that I can sometimes go to. All of the time, I know I can go to Corey because I know he truly cares and he really likes having my in his life. (so he says). The other Tamia. Most of the time I can go to her. Don't judge me.
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I felt a hand under my chin and then I was looking right into Aiden's eyes. "You know that I care about you, right?" He used the same hushed tone. Aiden cared about me? Well, I knew he cared about me, but I didn't know he cared about me. It makes sense. I shrugged. "I don't know," I replied back. "Well, I do. I care about you so much." He whispered. His next move surprised me. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my lips that lasted about two seconds before backing away. I looked at the ground, shocked. Oh my god. Aiden just kissed me. Again. And I liked it. A lot. *** Corey Hale and Aiden Praxston don't like each other. At all. Never have, never will. She hates him and he hates her; so she thinks. What Corey doesn't know is that Aiden doesn't, in fact, hate her. He feels the complete opposite. One of Aiden's past relationships turned him into the person he is today; arrogant, selfish, rude, and he vowed to never love again. He's a complete Badass. Girls, Drinking, and getting high is his life now. Although, he soon realizes that he can't hide his true feelings about Corey. So when Aiden's past comes back to take revenge and could affect the girl he cares about, you could only imagine what would happen. However, how can he protect her without letting the truth go? If it does get out, it could be a total repeat of what happened before. That couldn't happen. Not again. Follow them on their journey as Corey and Aiden face their true feelings and come to realize many things. One of them is that being in Love is no joke.
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