Horses

Horseback riding or just standing next to a horse makes me happy. It's my way of escape from school, dad, John. When I ride I don't think, no thoughts, no emotions. It's like your in a coma. Your body adjusts to the rhythm of the horse and that's that. When I'm riding the horses I hear the instructor, my sight is forward, my touch is focused on the reins. Which way to pull, how hard to hold them. My smell does not exist. I don't smell the Manure nor the sent of the horses.
When I'm at school I focus about what needs to get done, what and who said things behind my back, the social criticism. At school I put on a smile, but inside I'm worried, anxious and scared. Everyday is a challenge, drone waking up in the morning to 2 am in the morning doing homework or having an emotional break down. In school I try to act as mature as the teachers. On the bus I listen to music but is still anxious. When I get home I see mom not smiling, I think
" oh shit ".