A single cell named Bob

Bob is a cell. We will personify this cell for human understanding. Then I recruit you to my pseudoreligous cult. I call it theosophy. They call it pseudoscience. Either way let's read and laugh together, yes?

Serious note: be aware my tone will be bland and yet pretentious for the purpose of humoring myself. As is one of my favorite things to do. Aside from this, I think a grand concept lies in wake. I wish to discuss this with people of a thinking nature. However, I doubt anyone may take this seriously or read it at all, because of my difficulty conveying it by ordinary means.