Story cover for Disorderly Complicated by kbrindley
Disorderly Complicated
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    Reads 3,009
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    Parts 6
  • WpHistory
    Time 1h 47m
  • WpView
    Reads 3,009
  • WpVote
    Votes 76
  • WpPart
    Parts 6
  • WpHistory
    Time 1h 47m
Ongoing, First published Nov 20, 2012
Mature
I wake up feeling better then I did yesterday, because it’s a work in progress. I've been trying to head myself in the right direction but I’ve been torn down by glimpses of my own refection. So, try looking at that, try facing that without fear. I wouldn’t expect you to understand what I hear. It’s all in my head but it gets under my skin. Its wearing me weak, not strong enough, I'm deadly thin but can’t stop, it’s my control, you don’t know, only heard. The mirror, it breaks me, and it don’t even say a word. Thats because we never see "beautiful" because we are so busy trying to create "beautiful". Since I can't get to where i want to be, every act to change passes me by when I look at myself through a mirrors eyes.
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december relapse by rachelyuma
11 parts Ongoing
It's for everyone. Both those that have already tried recovery and those who are still fighting. I'm here to support. All of you, all of us. Because we all matter. I'm not a professional. Not a psychologist, psychiatrist. Just an ed survivor, writing from lived experience. Skip if you find these triggering - I completely understand. I believe that we all deserve support, and much better than the world that portrays serious diseases as "success stories" or "becoming healthier, prettier." We can do better. In short, this is a series about eating disorders and everything related to them: relapses, beginnings, the process, healing, society's influence, and recovery. I write about things that affect me as a person who has, and still is struggling with this little trap in her mind that says to give up. And that's why I'm creating this. We need something else besides the constant skinny obsession, don't we? Even if you decide not to read any of the chapters - I get it. If you don't agree with my point of view that I share in this project, that's alright. I'm not trying to convince anyone to my mind. I'm trying to let people with invisible, underrated struggles be heard, seen. And you're valid. You're enough. There're more of us. We are no longer silent. We're here for ourselves - that's already a big step toward healing. I'm not going to tell you that recovery is the same for everyone. I'm not going to tell you that people won't comment on your appearance. I'm not going to tell you that you'll always love yourself after recovery. But I am going to, at least try, to convince you that being alive is worth more than looking a certain way. You think feeling your bones is hot? You know what's more? BEING ALIVE. Healing is a process. And it's hard. But as long as you are alive, you always have a chance. I'm not one of the perfectly recovered ones. I see this trap. I've lived in it. I still do. But I'm not afraid of speaking about it - until someone finally hears me.
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