A journal worth hiding
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Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Tue, Jun 28, 2022
Better keep myself anonymous....
This is a type of journal I wouldn't dare write in any physical book to be found later by my brown parents. My not so innocent ass has done a lot of great stuff worth boasting but this society considers it to be shameful. Who cares! I have a place to rant now
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Cheat
I've written 3 anonymous online journals so far in my life. The first was as an adolescent, ending when, at 19, I commenced a long term relationship in which my partner had an issue with me writing about my thoughts and feelings in case they were about her. I also had to cease my other creative outlet - drawing. Because she felt it's abstracted nature hid secret messages about her. The second started when that relationship was coming to an end. I needed an outlet. I had nobody to talk to about what I was going through so I secretly started writing again. This is that second journal, when I was around 25 years old, which I've taken from it's retired blogger page and have transferred here. Part of the reason I am doing this is because my daughter, who was very young at the time of writing this, has expressed some curiosity about my journal. One day when she's older and has more life experience it might be OK to see what I'm writing now, but in the meantime, she can read this, a moment in my life for which she was present but that she could not understand at the time.
"What the heck, where is my diary," I said to myself. This can't be happening. If someone stole it I am going to kill myself. What if someone at my school stole it? Oh no, that wouldn't be good. I am freaking out right now. What if they read it? It has my secrets in it. What if told everyone at school? My life would be screwed for good. I wouldn't be able to show my face in public. Let me just hope it is good hands if someone stole it.
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