Sabil Ad-Dumu'
  • Reads 2,133
  • Votes 146
  • Parts 19
  • Time 3h 57m
  • Reads 2,133
  • Votes 146
  • Parts 19
  • Time 3h 57m
Ongoing, First published Jul 11, 2022
﷽

"When a man sought knowledge, it would not be long before it could be seen in his humbleness, his sight, upon his tongue and his hands, in his prayer, in his speech and in his disinterest in worldly allurements. And a man would acquire a portion of knowledge and put it into practice, and it would be better for him than the world and all it contains - if he owned it, he would give it in exchange for the Hereafter."

- Stated by Hasan al-Basrī (رحمه الله) in "Al-Zuhd wa'l-Raqā'iq" (1/156)

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We all sin and we all strive bi idhnillah. This is just another story of hayat.
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I stare at him horrified. it couldn't happen my life was already ruined, and I don't want it to be ruined any further. No! It can't happen! I screamed in my head and clutched my head with both of my hands. "No. I don't want this" I whisper shaking visibly. "Adiba... please calm down... listen I want to tell you something.. just calm down" he tried to calm me down in a very gentle voice but how can I? did he forget what he did to me? if he then I will remind him. I look up at him and wipe my tears furiously and clean my face. sighing I said. "I want to abort" I exclaimed and his gentle face turned into his usually angry face. "What the f*ck did you say?" he yelled and take step toward me. but I didn't flinch this time and matched his angry face with mine. "I said I want to abort this sinful thing!" I screamed at top of my lungs. "Shut the fu*k up, Adiba! this is not a thing and not sinful at all" he screamed back grabbing my both arms. and I gave him hateful glared "It is! did you forget you RAPE me!" I screamed and he suddenly left my arms and hurt made its way to his eyes. "Did you forget you RAPE a married woman" I yelled grabbing his collar. "I didn't! But still, it's not a sinful thing Adiba... it's our... It's our halal child... Your my.. my WIFE Adiba!" He said his voice cracking and a lone tear escaped his eyes and I was staring at him like he lost his mind. How can I be his wife? I am already married to someone else. ****** #1 in emotional. 15/10/2020 #2 in emotional. 18/10/2020 #1 in obsession 11/03/2021 #1 in Muslim 11/03/2021
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Guilted: Wars Against The Past (Editing)

49 parts Complete

The things I knew that were once unethical, were bound to be saintly. The dreams I dreamt once upon a time, seemed to be an epitome of nightmares. The heart I thought I stole long ago, always belonged to someone else. The crimes I have committed all my life, became a handful of lessons that I ought to learn. The world I looked up to once, became a mortal enemy of mine. The family I thought would disown me, fought my battles for me. The life I never imagined I'd live, sadly it became a life I'd rather live than die. Lastly, the guilt I carried in me for the each and every second of my living, was a poison spreading and gradually banishing everything around me. Clearly, I was bounded by the past! Never have I imagined for the galaxy of guilt in me to steadily transform into a matter of great; Love. No, it wasn't for my dead sister, or for the woman I once claimed to love, or for my money-grubbing father, or even for the woman who was destined for me. Majestically, it was for Someone who I never ever thought it would be for; My Maker. Well, it's mind-blowing how the ugliest of matters bring out the most beautiful of articles! -Guilt is a gift from Allah, warning you that what you are doing is violating your soul.- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Started: 22/12/2017, 7:15 pm. [All Rights Reserved, froward 2017]