Only Love Can Hurt Like This
- Reads 9
- Votes 1
- Parts 1
Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Wed, Jan 28, 2015
I lie here everyday in this broken bed..
with a broken heart..
My heart is scared and shattered..
I Thought i found someone i could give myself to..
But i found someone who doesn't even give me a second thought..
It hurts to fall in love alone..
But i guess i deserved it after all these years feeling alone..
I won't ever find someone to love,..but I'll die alone with a broken heart and shattered mind..
All the things i showed you and said no one else knew but you..I guess i was just another girl you could misuse...Only Love could hurt like this..maybe it isn't love at all...
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"Will be there in 20?" The message from Dean reads. My brain says I should text back saying 'I will rip your balls off if you come over' or 'I am not a sex toy, you could come over and use me as and when you please' or at least a simple 'No'. But I don't. I squat next to my bed and pull out the white powder to numb the pain. I told myself that I am done with Dean and I am going to get my life back together. I cleaned up, battled withdrawals and even improved my grades. One text from him and I am snorting coke. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I let Dean treat me like trash? Why do I set myself up knowing that it's only a matter of time before he will run back to Sherley leaving me in limbo? Why? l have asked myself the same question a million times but I couldn't come up with an answer that I can use to justify myself. When it came to Dean, I was a masochist. I let him use me and discard me without any fight. Dean was my first Friend. Kiss. Sex. Love. Everything. I wanted to be his everything too. I was his first Friend. Kiss and Sex but Love.. that was Sherley. His family chauffeur's daughter. I want to be a better human and say I didn't hate her. But I am not. I am just human and I hate her with the ferocious of a thousand sun. I hate that she plays him like a fiddle and he dances to it. I hate that they fight for silly reasons and Dean comes running to me. I hate that I let him in even when I know she will reel him back in no time. I hate that he is my weakness and Sherley is his. I wished that my best friend would turn to be my lover. But he just ripped my heart out. It time to let go and move on.
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