See You Tomorrow, Perhaps

I had a lot of friends... Or more appropriately, people I just socialize with to get by with my day. No one knows what my true feelings are. Because they are concealed with a smile. My family was dysfunctional. They no longer cared for me and so I stayed with my mother as a result. It was just painful to see her... Working so hard... Her hands bleeding from jobs that don't just cut a paycheck... I didn't want to be a burden. I tried to tutor kids, clean houses, babysit. All I could. It sounds easy. But I just realized those jobs just got me and my mom further from each other. I quit to just tend the home while she was gone.

When I come home from school. I drop my bag and finished my homework like a diligent child. After that I just sit on my bed. And just stare off into the dark. Wallowing in self pity. Criticisms I have overheard about me. Situations I regret. All because of me. It's just who I am. That's why people discourage me. If only they could see the scars I create. If only someone. Just anyone. Could see my pain. My suffering... That would mean a lot. But is a wish that will never come true. 

I say," See you tomorrow!" But I can never promise it. Money could fail, my mother could collapse from exhaustion and would be relieved of her pain, leaving me behind... Anything could happen to impact tomorrow. I was always bad at keeping promises. I looked down at a bottle of pills.