His Last Name

"How can I move on when he still has my heart?" He broke me. He made my life living hell.... But I still love him...||COMPLETE||

Being happy used to be easy. I had friends who cared about me and we took this world by storm at a young age.... But there is always that one person that makes my life a living hell. This won't end happy for either of us and all those people who left me will pay. They caused me so much pain and despair that I want it to end so badly. And maybe today.....it will.

Loving are part of our existence in this world 'cause we have an ability to fall, admire and love someone we met in our lives. However the crazy thing is we exceeded on our limitations cause we thought it's okay to love that way but unfortunately that's not right and fair to continually do it. There are so many expectations that made us so much dissapointed ; when we're hoping that someone that we really love will like and love us back one day. Alongside the insane decision someone could take is to believe that there's hope and Miracle that the one we chose to love will acknowledge and choose us the way we do at last. In addition, We desperately defined who will be the key on the doors of hearts but doing this thing will deceively cause so much pain in the end. Thus, the heart breaking part is when we realized that the one we're waiting to open our heart already found the right door that fits his /her keys while we are on the other side still stuck on the phase of illusion.

"Growing up around fairytales, Disney princesses and teen films, we are raised to believe that happy endings are always in store for us. But more often than not, reality sinks in, and the happy ending doesn't occur. Especially in high school. The main reason I liked this book so much was because it was so real. It was a love that was destined to crumble from the start, and yet, you kept pushing your luck. We've all been there. The late night texts from your crush waking you up to talk about nothing, the unexpected butterflies when you see him, the gross flaws he possess that you don't seem to notice, or the small things he does that turn you on. Most importantly, we learn that love truly is blind. We're unobservant to the world around us when our teenage love obsession is staring down at us with those big, brown, adorable eyes of theirs. And then when we wake up from this dream-like state that is a first love, we realize that he's not this perfect, older, mature man... but this boy."

I was lonely. After losing the one person that felt so important to you, you don't want to risk to lose another one, so you tend to push everybody away. That way, it'd be easier not to be hurt or to hurt anyone again. I had decided to live alone, and I honestly don't think I regret it. But when you see someone who seems to be what you are, don't you feel the temptation to talk to them so you could get the company you've grown to miss? And what about somebody that looks the exact opposite of yourself? Don't you want to know their story? I had made a lot of mistakes in my life. Getting close to people was definitely my worst one.

"There were times of hardship when people forget the courage they need to keep fighting; and survive. But I think as long as we have something or someone to believe in, to keep close in our hearts, courage will never truly leave us. We only have to reach deep in our heart to find it." I never thought I was going to escape my abusive parents. I could no longer see that one light at the end of my tunnel. I was trapped, no way to escape. You would never believe that one trip to the New York Hospital could change my life drastically, and not in the way you guys are thinking. Not negatively, but positively. Thanks to my Doctor and his son, I could finally say goodbye to my dark past and say hello to my bright future involving a massive emotion... LOVE. So, Maybe... There is a Happy Ending.

"Put your hand over your heart. Do you feel that? It's a ticking clock. It's counting down the seconds. One day, someone's going to want to spend the rest of their life counting down those moments with you. They're going to love everything about you, even the things you don't. Maybe you don't love everything about yourself, maybe you won't tomorrow, maybe you never will. But that's okay, because so many people already do. You'll look back and think of your life now as the past, knowing there was hope for you all along. Someone will change your life. Someone will love you unconditionally. And you may not know it, but someone already does." Who knew, all thanks to my aunt, I'd find my "someone"?

After living a tedious and monotonous life growing up all she wanted was fun. Fun like getting drunk several nights a week and coming home so hung over she couldn't see her own feet. Fun like enjoying a night out with her 3 other best friends who have joined her all along. Is that really fun? Young Sydney Martin was forced to endure the life of a stereotype. Living the same routine everyday. Her boyfriend, or now ex boyfriend put her in an empty whole of nothingness. But Sydney was in love. Falling so hard she saw nothing else but him. Everything in her life was the blur of a common place.They would under go everything with each other. From eating breakfast together in the morning, to playing in the sheets at night. Her life was perfect. Everyday was a new day for Sydney. Of course when your 20 years old & withstanding a job at an aquarium what other option do you have? Evan made it exciting for her. They would go to amusement parks, travel the world together for years on end. But nothing lasts forever. One day, it all stopped and he was gone. It was just another Cinderella story. Break ups do that to you, they rip apart everything you once had in your heart. That's what a heart break is all about. All that Sydney had left was her 3 best friends, Abbie, Kalie, & Amanda. Of course she had her parents in a distant way but what 20 year old wants to sulk with their 50 year old guardians? Sydney was convinced love doesn't exist. So she forced her life to become a fast pace movie franchise. Getting drunk at bar's every night and living her life to the most in order to leave the life that only existed in the past. But when her best friend Abbey introduces yet another celebrity friend to her group she doesn't stand a chance. With one wink of an eye & a new future ahead of her everything could be thrown away. Maybe she could even love again. But life always has obstacles. Does love truly exsist?

There are a lot of things you don't really think about until they happen to you. Take rape, for instance. I always thought, "That won't happen to me. I have a boyfriend. I trust him. He would never take advantage of me like that..." I couldn't have been more wrong. Love in this day and age is often confused for manipulation and abuse. The warning signs are here. The things we say will tell us everything that is wrong. You are worth more than what you think you are. It's not your fault. If they tell you otherwise, get out. Burn the bridge. Always remember someone is waiting for you to walk into their life. Someone needs you. Someone loves you. Getting away from all of the wrong people and finding the right ones could save you. I can promise you right now that it saved me. These are the journal entries and selected poems from my first experience of love that left a unpleasant taste in my mouth- quite literally. I am putting this out for the whole world to see because I hope everyone will learn from my experience. People can see. We have no excuses to continue living our lives in ignorance. ...WARNING... HARMFUL THEMES INCLUDING MENTION OF SUICIDE, SELF HARM, AND RAPE. THIS HAS EXPLICIT CONTENT. RECOVERY AND AWARENESS IS THE PURPOSE OF SHARING. DO NOT READ IF THESE THEMES ARE OFFENSIVE OR HARMFUL TO YOU.

Remember when I said that a kiss or an award had a time limit on it? Well, if you find the right person to say "I love you" to, that doesn't go away. That doesn't vanish. That lingers on forever if you're especially lucky. Feeding it with more is always helpful, of course, but if you've found the person whose "I love you" never goes away, then you're probably doing your damndest to keep them in your life. So it never really leaves you. What it does do is color every bit of your life with a magical sheen of joy where even bad luck appears to turn around and become good once more. Broke your shoelace? Well, maybe you walked by a lottery machine on the way to buy more and won a thousand bucks. Who knows? Glass is half full and all of that. I didn't have such interesting luck, but I did find a new level of contentment with my life.