Suicidality - RiverRioux - Wattpad

Story cover for Suicidality by RiverRioux

Suicidality

Reads 24
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Parts 1
Time <5 mins

Reads 24
Votes 0
Parts 1
Time <5 mins

anorexic emotions memories suicidality suicide

It's hard to describe some feelings. An emotion that has no words, because I'm the only one who seems to feel it. A memory that I just can't remember. My body screaming at me that I've forgotten something so important, but its just too far away to touch. It feels like I'm being struck by lightning but doesn't hurt. Electricity flashing through my body, but no pain. Just this feeling that I've forgotten.All Rights Reserved

anorexic emotions memories suicidality suicide

Table of contents

Memories
Fri, Jan 30, 2015

1 part

Memories
Fri, Jan 30, 2015

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Ana by Wintersdancer

Life as a child was amazing. Your weight didn't matter. Your clothes didn't matter. Your parents money didn't matter. All that mattered was who you were going to play with, but that's all gone now. My sister hates me, my mom has no time for me, and my dad, well he left me. My life has been one whirlwind after another. Except I'm content with it, till it all comes crashing down. Every television, billboard, and magazine is covered with models. Models that are supposed to be role models, for us. Perfect face, perfect body, perfect life. I have none of those things. All my life I've never cared that I was over weight, and didn't wear makeup. Who knew a boy could change all of that? That's when I decided to starve myself, force myself to look like the girls in the magazines. Who knew all I was doing was slowly killing myself? Life likes to play games, except my game is called Ana and I don't think I will survive. (unedited) Cover by: MadHatter_25

The Day I Met Ana by kataroo22

Hi, my name is Anorexia. Ana for short. I'm here to tell a story. A story of struggle, family issues, and most of all, losing. At the moment I'm quite friendless and time will unfold that story but for now I have a question. Would you like to be my friend? I promise I'm nothing like they say. But I have to warn you, you must do everything I say.

euphoria's tribulation by peculiarAIS

Eventually I write I make small things big things I crush myself to be inspired I weep over nonsensical things I try to uncomplicate thoughts but I can't Welcome to my world of ludicrous regalia With a lot of endless questions flooding you These are the Lost Titles and Forgotten Rhymes ⓒ a.i.s ➋0➀❹

Dear Journal... by SadeScorned

Just an online journal of my personal thoughts . No, I am not suicidal. No, I am not depressed. Just introverted, and I trap feelings in more than I'm supposed to .. So I let them out here.

At the End of All Things Me by toledoknight

A gathering of my thoughts from most recent going back a few years. My journey through the mental wreckage from having multiple heart attacks and all the emotions, anger, withdrawal that I have been through.

Letters and Emotions. by Redezicus

Each emotion and action are addressed as though they are living entities. it's a one sided conversation of what certain scenarios/emotions made me feel, act or behave in a certain way.

Falling Apart by 1_Will_3

*TRIGGER WARNING: DEALS WITH DEPRESSION, SELF HARM AND SUICIDE* Amber is sixteen years old and to sugarcoat it... She hasn't had the best upbringing. She would love a different life, one where she can see her mother again and not be stuck with her abusive father. A life where she doesn't get taunted and hit and torn apart by everyone who she has ever seen. But she would never swap, she doesn't want anyone to endure the pain she's gone through. So instead, she tries to get rid of it... Again. But much to her disbelief, she is saved by the people she would least expect. She learns secrets about them that no one else knows. She feels included. Cared for. And dare I say it... She felt loved. For once in her life, she felt truly happy to be alive. But just when Amber felt safe, her life was flipped upside down and her past came back to haunt her just when she least expected it... (Sorry, I suck at descriptions, don't let it put you off) Ranking: #64 in Awareness #15 in Mental Health Awareness #73 in saddness

Abigail by hmarieh1218

(In editing) She's depressed. She's anorexic. She's suicidal. She's insecure. Abigail has grown up with her three brothers and James, never meeting her parents, who abandoned her at birth. Her brothers were left to take care of her and keep a roof over their heads. Everyday they struggle to take care of Abigail, while working to keep them in their home. Life for them is hard. Life for Abigail is even harder. She has a dark mind and not by choice. Somewhere along the way she's developed these feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. Everyday is a struggle for her and just getting out of bed is a success. She meets Zach, a bad boy with a bad reputation. He starts off as a tutor, just to help her out, out of pity. But eventually feelings get involved and Abigail finds herself liking a boy for the first time in her life. Things get serious and she somehow learns about his drug dealing business. Everything gets hectic and Abigail doesn't know what to do with her life anymore. Or if she even wants to live.

It was under control by myrealnameisasecret

Jules Hart returns to the psychiatric ward, her life has fallen apart once again. She had it under control. Or was it all just her imagination? She encounters trials and tribulations with her eating disorder recovery, being forced into situations like no other; ending in painful repercussions and unhealthy coping mechanisms. After deciding she no longer wants help, Jules escapes the psychiatric ward; resulting in her attempting to take her own life. The consequence of her actions, broke Tom's heart in the process, all the while he held her sick body. Her life has led her down the path of having to recover from not only the torturous eating disorder, but the addictive self harm and torment of the suicidal ideation. Let's just hope Jules gets her happy ending... ~ "GET OFF ME! GET THE HELL OFF ME! I DON'T LIKE BEING TOUCHED! GET THE FUCK OFF ME. TOM PLEASE HELP ME. TOM! PLEASE GET THEM OFF ME. I'M SO SCARED!" Jules's fragile body was making a forceful connection with the cold and unsympathetic ground. Her bloodline exiting and tainting her body and all of the surroundings. Her painful and emotional screams echoed the white corridor, while Jules's body shook and shivered, and dizzy spells with blurry covered eyes; forced her body and mind to experience a feeling of disconnection. The fit of fear that swirled in the pit of Jules's stomach made her head jolt violently side to side, along with front and back; causing her forehead to strike the floor. ~TW: Eating disorder, suicide and self harm mentioned throughout~

Family Comes First by CRAZY40429

Being alone? Check. Being afraid? Check. Being abused? Check times 3. Honestly, my life wasn't this bad before, not until I ended in foster care... SIKE! My life was always bad. From the moment I was born, I lived with an abusive father who blamed me for my mother's death, and even I couldn't disagree with him. Here are a few questions I am constantly asked: 'Do I do well in school?' No, are you kidding me? The only subject I'm good at is Visual Arts. 'Do I have a kind and caring family?' No, I don't think I do. 'Do I have anyone who cares about me?' No, I'm a loner and socially awkward. 'Do I have privileges?' No, if you haven't understood the message yet, I live in an abusive household. Now, you might ask if there are any questions the answer is yes. I'll give you some. 'Do I want to die?' Yes, I sometimes do. 'Do I feel alone in this world?' Yes, always. 'Do I get a beating every day?' Yes. *** This is Amara Williams, a 13 year-old with average grades and no friends. What happens when her only guardian, her dad, is dead? What happens when she finds out that she has five older brothers who are not only strict and demanding, but also protective assholes? More importantly, what happens when she finds out that she was taught lies from the moment she was born? Follow Amara as she digs deeper into her family history, uncovering the secrets and discovering the lies. ___ ⚠️ Trigger Warning ⚠️ There will be mentions of abuse, r@pe, self harm, death, and many other dark themes. I have given a warning now, and I will give a TW in each chapter when reading for safety reasons. However, I want all of my readers to know what to expect so that they can decided for themselves if they want to read. Read at your own discretion! ____ Highest Rankings: #1 in Rules: Oct. 18. 2020 #1 in Truth: Jan. 16. 2021 #1 in Alcohol: Jun. 18. 2021

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Slide 1 of 10

The Day I Met Ana cover

euphoria's tribulation cover

Dear Journal... cover

At the End of All Things Me cover

Letters and Emotions. cover

Falling Apart cover

It was under control cover

Family Comes First cover

Ana

Life as a child was amazing. Your weight didn't matter. Your clothes didn't matter. Your parents money didn't matter. All that mattered was who you were going to play with, but that's all gone now. My sister hates me, my mom has no time for me, and my dad, well he left me. My life has been one whirlwind after another. Except I'm content with it, till it all comes crashing down. Every television, billboard, and magazine is covered with models. Models that are supposed to be role models, for us. Perfect face, perfect body, perfect life. I have none of those things. All my life I've never cared that I was over weight, and didn't wear makeup. Who knew a boy could change all of that? That's when I decided to starve myself, force myself to look like the girls in the magazines. Who knew all I was doing was slowly killing myself? Life likes to play games, except my game is called Ana and I don't think I will survive. (unedited) Cover by: MadHatter_25